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Brain Go BOOM! Author/Survivor: John Cooper hold my brain in with my right hand, I stood up and bent over to pick them up. I was at war with myself and my brain didn’t like it. I nearly passed out before sitting back down on the throne. I finished my business, washed my hands and barely made it back to bed where I was rendered useless for the next few hours. That was the kind of stuff I hadn’t expected to deal with every day. Why would I have thought about it before? However, this particular situation and my newer circumstances made me think differently. No lifting over 20 lbs. Lifting mimicked the same results as straining. As I alluded to earlier, I have an anarchist personality, so it goes without saying that I pushed it a little. However, when I did, it felt like a water balloon was coming out of the right side of my skull. I was pretty cautious about not overstepping that boundary often. Mandatory rest periods, 5 – 7 per day. Now here’s the pièce de resistance…a bad storm had rolled in and shattered our outdoor glass table top on our deck. The old John would have said, “Well let’s just go buy a new table—a better table! Hell, let’s go buy a whole new set and donate the rest!” The new John’s brain wasn’t working so well, so I had to the deal with what we had. I took out the shop-vac and cleaned up the thousand pieces of broken glass on the deck (no bending, no lifting, no straining—pfftt, no problem). However, after completing this task, I was completely drained and had to rest for three or four hours. During that rest, my brain just wouldn’t turn off and I came up with an idea to fabricate a new tabletop, but I wasn’t sure how to execute it. The issue was that my brain wasn’t the same as it used to be. I used to be able to plan, execute and complete tasks like this lickety-split; however, it was a whole new ballgame and I wasn’t quite ready to play in that game. Put them all together and… I just could not get this idea out of my head so about two days later, I began implementing my idea. I had found several 1” x 2” x 8” strips of wood in my basement and put my brilliant plan to erect a new tabletop into action! I eagerly thought, This is good. Your brain is starting to work better, John. My plan was to frame out the table and put the wood strips on top. I would then secure the wood strips to the frame, then sand and stain them to make it look as if it were a new teak table top. Let me reiterate: I was still thinking and acting as if I was still the old Johnny, but I was nowhere near it. The old Johnny took over with Page 62 of 167
Brain Go BOOM! Author/Survivor: John Cooper his anarchistic, fast and furious actions. The you can’t tell me what I can and what I can’t do Johnny. So on a sweltering ninety degree afternoon, I started assembling my newly devised tabletop. I strained, I bent over, I lifted wood over twenty pounds and even took my helmet off because it was so damn hot out. As I was inserting the final screws and applying the final coat of stain on that God-forsaken tabletop, I drank three cold beers. I never cursed so much in my life. Upon completion, I inspected it and proudly puffed out my chest like a cave man that had just started a fire. I was proud of my accomplishment. These therapists were wrong, “I can get back to the way I once was before!” What did that victory offer me? In retrospect I can say not much; I was physically, cognitively and mentally annihilated for five days. I liken it to competing in an Iron Man Competition with two flat tires during the bike portion, flip-flops during running portion and wearing a snow suit during the swimming portion of the race. Looking back, as this is always so easy to do in life, I shake my head and wonder, What were you thinking John? Laura bought a new table two weeks later. That’s all I have to say about that. Page 63 of 167
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