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Brain Go BOOM!<br />
Author/Survivor: John Cooper<br />
I was pissed off! I knew I had a living will. Why are they doing this to me? I was not<br />
going to live like this. I grabbed the NG tube with my right hand and yanked it out. For those<br />
that don’t know, the end of an NG feeding tube catheter is anchored into the stomach with a<br />
balloon of saline solution about the size of a small Super Ball (similar to the ones I used to get at<br />
the Five and Dime and bounce down my driveway of my childhood row home in Philly). As it<br />
came up, I had to pull really hard to get it past the back of my throat, nasal cavity, and then<br />
through my nostril. My eyes teared in pain, but they were more like the tears created when you<br />
are choking on something. I admit it was a quick, self-inflicted asshole move, but I wanted to<br />
get my point across—I was not going to live like this! I think I made my point clear.<br />
The next thing I remember is Laura appearing in front of me. Finally, someone I knew! What a<br />
sight! Her big, beautiful, blue eyes were a welcomed site. Her smile was synonymous with her<br />
tears and everything began to look up. She stoically stood and looked down at me, as if it was<br />
our wedding day. With nothing but pure love beaming out of her big, beautiful, blue eyes she<br />
said, “I love you, John.” I can hardly remember anything she said after. She tried to fill me in<br />
on everything that had occurred over that ten-day stretch of being in a coma. All I remember is<br />
her saying, “I love you, John.” I tried saying it back, but I don’t know if she understood what I<br />
was saying with the ventilator tube in my mouth. I was getting annoyed that she couldn’t<br />
understand me. I thought to myself, “Alright Coop, let’s get up so we can go home now. I just<br />
have to get this ventilator tube out next.”<br />
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