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Brain Go BOOM! Author/Survivor: John Cooper Chapter 23: Home P ulling in, I remember seeing my girls homemade Welcome Home Daddy! signs, along with the purchased party-store-version which the adults had put up for my special homecoming. I was overwhelmed and flooded with emotions. It was the best feeling in the world to hug my own girls in my own house, but reality quickly set in yet once again. Upon this first real big hug at home, my helmet was in the way. I couldn’t get close enough to them. I couldn’t get an honest cheek to cheek hug. There aren’t enough words to describe my disappointment and anger. I knew there were going more disappointments ahead of me, but I was finally home with my family and that’s what mattered most. When putting this chapter together I thought it would have been longer and with more memories, but I just cannot remember much about that day. I was either under too much stress or I must have blocked out some occurrences during that tumultuous time. I talked to my psychologist about it because this was really bothering me. She explained that evolutionary biologist’s research had suggested that patients tend to remember negative thoughts during a traumatic or life-changing event in order to protect themselves from similar, future events. She further explained that more mental effort is required in recalling good memories. So in my current state of mind, while trying to remember and write about it today, I find much solace in that reasoning. Page 58 of 167
Brain Go BOOM! Author/Survivor: John Cooper Chapter 24: Home: New Life, Rules and Challenges O nce home, a lengthy list of can’t do’s was bestowed upon me. As you may have noticed by now, I don’t like being told what to do; and better yet, what not to do. Being an anarchistic in so many aspects of my life, my attitude has caused me to fail but it has also played an important role in my success. When combined with my motivation and drive, it’s Me, the anarchist, back in the ‘80s either a big win or a devastating failure. My addiction to never give up sometimes carries deceptive and devastating consequences which, at times, has brought me crashing down to my knees. However, I will never give up! Here are a few items I can recall of my Can’t Do List: No driving No straining No bending over No lifting anything over 20 pounds No getting out of bed without my helmet on No drinking beer / no alcohol consumption No long periods of watching TV, using the computer or being on the phone Mandatory rest periods: 5 – 7 per day for at least 30 – 45 minutes each Let’s see how I do. No driving. I think it was about a week since I had gotten home and cabin fever had set in. As a man, I needed to drive. I needed to get out without someone chauffeuring me back and forth to therapy. The perfect day presented itself, as Laura, my kids and mother-in-law, Grace, weren’t home. Since discharged, a family member had always been at the house to help me make it through the day, as I was not yet self-sufficient. Page 59 of 167
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