Clockwise Cat Strikes Back

“Ah! Ah!” Kohlrabi grabbed his head with stalk-like arms. “That makes no sense! I gave
you a perfect, dramatic scene and you reply with that. Unless…” He began pacing. “You
mean that my plan will be foiled by some unforeseen parking violation.”
“But boss, he is called Non Sequitur Man, after all.”
“No, you fool! A non sequitur is a term in logic that describes a conclusion that does not
follow from the premises.” Kohlrabi waved his stalks. “You know, like all men are
mortal. Socrates is a man. Therefore Socrates hates Swiss cheese.”
“I was referring to a non sequitur used as a literary device.” Dwayne pulled up a
Wikipedia page describing Theater of the Absurd on Kohlrabi’s laptop.
“Give me that!” Kohlrabi snatched the laptop from Dwayne’s hands but try as he might,
he couldn’t get Windows 8 to do what he wanted. “Damn piece of …” While attempting
to throw his laptop against the wall, Kohlrabi tripped and fell into the pit. “Ahhh!”
Later while police packed Kohlrabi’s remains into yard bags, Detective Kobo Dashiki
expressed the thanks of a grateful city.
“Well Non Sequitur Man, looks like Mayor Kardashian owes you another one.”
“Thanks, Kobo.” Non Sequitur Man pointed at the detective’s colorful outfit. “Damn,
that’s one hell of a shirt!”
“You like it?” Dashiki beamed. “I got it in West Africa on my way back from Mount
Koya.”
“Bake at three hundred fifty degrees for thirty minutes or until browned.”
“What the…?” When Dashiki realized the joke, he punched Non Sequitur Man in the
shoulder. “You idiot!”
Author bio: Host of the Gelato Poetry Series, instigator of the San Diego Poetry Un-
Slam, and an editor of the San Diego Poetry Annual, Jon Wesick has published more
almost a hundred short stories in journals such as Clockwise Cat, The Berkeley Fiction
Review, Space and Time, Zahir, Tales of the Talisman, Blazing Adventures, and Metal
Scratches. He has also published over three hundred poems. Jon has a Ph.D. in physics
and is a longtime student of Buddhism and the martial arts. One of his poems won second
place in the 2007 African American Writers and Artists contest.