Feburary 17, 2016 This week in Gay Palm Springs

THAT IS FUNNY
I always look for a man who has a tattoo. I see a man with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay,
here’s a guy who’s capable of making a decision he’ll regret in the future.
I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked, “Do you
have any firearms with you?” I said: “What do you need?”
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be
in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.
I know a guy who called up the Home Shopping Network. They said “Can I help you?”
and he said “No, I’m just looking.”
There’s always one of my uncles who watches a boxing match with me and says “Sure. Ten
million dollars. You know, for that kind of money, I’d fight him.” As if someone is going to
pay $200 a ticket to see a 57-year-old carpet salesman get hit in the face once and cry.
WEEKLY GUIDE TO THE STARS
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
Spokes on the wheel aren’t always
easy to just grease. Toss some
elbow work in if you want the
gears to turn.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
Silence is only golden when it’s
warranted. If you see something
out of the ordinary, speak your
mind. Don’t regret the quiet later.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Cautious
and steady isn’t always the
most practical of methods. Mix it
up a little bit. Taking a risk now
and then can pay off.
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
There’s change in the air. Grasp
it now before it escapes out the
window. You might not know if
there’ll be more on the horizon.
LEO (July 23-Aug 22): Test your
mind every day. The brain can be
just as much a muscle as the rest.
But it still needs to be flexed.
VIRGO (Aug 23-Sept 22): It
can feel like love is just out of
reach, but still in the eye’s view.
If there’s someone you’re secretly
feeling things about, gauge theirs
towards you.
LIBRA (Sept 23-Oct 22): Every so
often, the staleness and stagnation
of routine can seem maddening.
Tweak a few details here and
there to stave off the inanity.
SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21):
Tough times are hardly new, with
or without a recession. Tighten
up your purse-strings now in
order to enjoy the fruits later.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21):
Finding something perplexing?
Take a step back and ask for
someone else to take a stab. Fresh
eyes are better than weary ones.
LIBRA (Sept 23-Oct 22): Stress
can build up over time if you let
yourself bottle it in. Find outliers
for the strain. Take a run or hit
the gym. Release the excess.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18): Be
smart about your next moves.
Life can be a bit like chess; a pawn
can become a queen, but it can
also be easily slain.
PISCES (Feb 19-March 20): Moderation
can be your friend just
as much as it can be your enemy.
Too much and you’re overdoing
it. Too little and you feel empty.
46 Your weekly LGBT Gay Desert Guide. View our Free Digital Version on-line.