CARTOONS BY CHRIS BRITT

– THE LOTTERY –
Sure you could play the lottery, win and forget all about your business idea. But you still
may want to do something, even if you’re living the life of the rich and famous on Bora
Bora. Plus, there are financial advantages that you can use in your windfall as you can
deduct various expenses,
set up a self-employment
retirement plan with its
requisite tax advantages,
lower your overall tax
liability, and give jobs to
your friends and family
so they won’t continually
be hitting you up for a
“loan.”
HOW DOES IT WORK?
Following are the steps
to follow in starting a
business with the lottery:
Lottery . . . A tax on people who are bad at math.
1. Purchase a lottery ticket, preferably at an obscure, rural mini-mart in the dead of
night. Make sure you sign the back of the ticket immediately.
2. Remember where you put your ticket. Wait for the drawing and check your numbers
carefully.
3. If you lose, repeat Steps 1 and 2.
4. If you win, jump up and down for joy. Then redeem your ticket.
5. When you claim your winnings, tell the press that you plan to sink every dime into
your new business enterprise. This will keep your phone from ringing off the hook as
distant relatives you’ve never heard of come out of the woodwork to ask for money.
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