CARTOONS BY CHRIS BRITT

6. Don’t actually do what you said you’d do in Step 5. Never sink every dime into your
business. Instead, build your business slowly and deliberately. While you never have to
worry about turning a profit, you do have to worry about losing all your winnings in a
risky enterprise.
7. Skype your staff from the beach in Bora Bora. Make it look like you’re having a really
rotten time.
ADVANTAGES
Tons of startup capital. Conceivably you could end up with tens, even hundreds of
millions to start your dream business.
Tax benefits. Some taxes may be deferred or reduced if they are used to build your
business.
No sore thumbs. You won’t have time to sit around twiddling them all day. You’ll have
something to do every day.
Full employment. You can finally get your deadbeat relatives meaningful jobs, so you can
not only lord it over them that you are rich, but also become their boss.
DISADVANTAGES
Low odds. The odds of winning the lottery are worse than playing golf on a warm Florida
day, hoping lightning will strike you dead.
Bankruptcy. Roughly 65% of all winners lose it all and end up in bankruptcy.
Never knowing where your stuff is. You’ll continually wonder if your blue seersucker
suit is in your Miami home or your Aspen chalet. Oh, that’s right! You left it at the Maui
beach house.
LOTTERY EXAMPLE
In 2008, Jonathan Vargas won $35.3 million in Powerball. He decided to use the
winnings to start his dream business: a bikini-clad, professional female wrestling league.
Only 19 at the time, Vargas took on some partners who were more than to happy share his
good fortune and help him make Wrestlicious the next WWE of the wrestling world. The
show, which lasted just a year on TV, even took viewers backstage to JV Rich’s mansion
(JV Rich was his stage name) and showcased his life as the rapper-owner of bikini-clad
wrestling. Vargas went on to make other famously bad investments and it is rumored that
he lost all $35.3 million.
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