Living Well 60+ January-February 2014

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mental ability, this loss is not all
that defines him or her, Bell said.
“We are dealing with an adult
who has had a rich life experience
and still has a lot of skills
underneath the dementia,” she
said. “A person with dementia is
very perceptive about not being
valued, not being respected. It is
just amazing to me what a person
still perceives even though they
have lost a lot in some areas.”
The Best Friends Approach
Pioneers Dementia Care
Learning and caring about participants make a big difference
by Martha Evans
Sparks,
Staff Writer
Best Friends, a
pioneering method
for dealing with people with
Alzheimer’s and other types of
dementia, is showing great success.
“The Best Friends approach has
really gone around the world,”
said Virginia Bell, the Lexington
social worker who began it. She
believes the reason it has prospered
is simple: It works.
The Best Friends concept occurred
to Bell 30 years ago when,
at the age of 60, she went back
to school at the University of
Kentucky to get a master’s degree
in social work. She was hired
as the first family counselor at
UK’s Sanders-Brown Center on
Aging. In working with persons
with dementia, Bell was surprised
to learn that the more she knew
about them, the better she got
along with them.
The medical professionals at
Sanders-Brown at the time did
not immediately think the Best
Friends approach would work. Especially
they did not think volunteers
could manage persons with
dementia. That opinion – and the
language – have both changed.
The term is no longer “caregiver”
but “care partner.” It’s no longer
“day care”; participants (not “patients”)
attend a “day center.”
“‘Day care’ sounds too much like
child care,” Bell said. “We want
it to be far removed from child
care.”
The newer approach is about
being the person’s friend. “It’s
amazing what a difference it
makes,” Bell said. “We try to find
out as many things as we can
about the person.” Care partners
use the information gleaned to
let the participant know they are
interested in him and care about
what he did and who he is.
The principle applied with Best
Friends is remembering that,
while the person has lost some
One program that utilizes Best
Friends is The Christian Care
Community with Best Friends,
located at Second Presbyterian
Church on East Main Street in
Lexington. Some participants
come just one afternoon a week
to give care partners some respite
time. The family member is better
off because of the socialization
with people who know about
his or her life story and care
about him or her. Families, for
their part, learn not to argue or
confront a person with dementia
and to understand that their
family member does not like to
always be on the receiving end of
everything with no choice about
anything.
Early in 2014, Best Friends, still
under the umbrella organization
of Christian Care Communities,
will move to a new, larger
building in Brannon Crossing.
Although Second Presbyterian
has provided a happy home all
these years, the facility is now
bursting at the seams, with a
waiting list. Other Christian Care
Communities using the Best
Friends approach are in Bowling
Green, Corbin, Louisville and
other places in Kentucky.
Bell says several big nursing
home chains are switching to the
Best Friends approach, where
every staffer knows the preferred
name of every patient. “It is such
a simple thing, but it makes such
a difference. If the patients are
happier, it is better for the staff,
families, patients, everybody,” she
said.
Now 91, Bell doesn’t take credit
for the change in focus in caring