May2015

Dear Out of Control 13-year-old,
Anger is a normal emotion for people to feel. Learning how to
express your anger assertively can result in productive solutions
at school, work, with family and friends. Local and world
news provides ongoing daily examples of how lives, families,
and countries are destroyed when anger is expressed aggressively.
Passively holding in your anger can destroy your health
as stress attacks your body from within. You will not outgrow
your response to anger; instead you must learn specific steps
to respond to anger. Investigate the triggers to your anger and
practice identifying the very first clue your body experiences
such as increased heart rate, flushed face, heavy clenched fists,
or tense muscles. You mentioned mistreatment by others is
your trigger. Removing yourself from the situation immediately
is not often feasible, but the best option when available. Even
a 30-second break can be effective once you learn what to do
in that brief time to calm your initial reaction. Simply removing
yourself and waiting to respond may have the effect of increasing
your anger while anxiously waiting. As you experiment with
different strategies you will find what works best for you. It is not
enough to tackle each instance; you must eat regularly, sleep
enough, exercise, and nourish your relationships daily in order
to remain calm. A therapist can serve as a resource and coach
while you go through this learning process. With investigation
and practice you will conquer your expression of anger. Your
relationship with family and friends will be healthier as well as
your body! P
- Dr. Renae
CALLING
ALL
MIDDLE AND
HIGH SCHOOL
TEENS
ASK DR. RENAE is an advice
column for teens with advice from
real teenagers. We are currently
recruiting interested middle and
high school students to help provide
advice to their peers.
All advice is reviewed, selected
and screened by Dr. Renae Lapin, a
licensed marriage and family therapist currently
working for the Broward County School Board’s Family
Counseling Program. Dr. Renae has 33 years’ experience as a
family counselor and has been writing a monthly column in the
Parklander for the past seven years on school related and parenting
issues. Your advice will be published anonymously (but you
can tell your friends that it is yours!). Teacher recommendation
and parent permission required. Interested? Write to ASK DR.
RENAE for an application at askdrrenae@att.net.
If you are a teen with a question or problem for which you
would like advice from a peer, write to ASK DR. RENAE for a
confidential response to your question printed in the Parklander.
No names or identifying information will be published. Please give
your age and/or grade level in school, and let us know if you are a
guy or girl. All inquiries should be directed to: askdrrenae@att.net.
Make sure to include ASK DR. RENAE in the subject line.
the PARKLANDER 99