The Good Life - Nov-Dec 2013

3
Expose
yourself to a multitude of illnesses a few
weeks ahead of time. You “don’t want to get the
family sick,” so you’ll “just have to stay home.”
4
Ask your best friend or best frenemy to
slightly run you over with their vehicle
immediately preceding your departure
for the in-laws’ homestead. A lighter car is
best (less recovery time to worry about). You’ll
get to spend your holiday at the hospital
eating 5-year-old chocolate pudding, dwelling
in a juxtaposed atmosphere of sickness and
sterility. This is what you dreamed about.
5
Be the better person. Force yourself to act cheerful
and charismatic, interested and kind. Not only
will your in-laws probably like you a lot more,
your other half will find it attractive, weird or not even
notice. I can’t guarantee which result you’ll receive from
your spouse, but your in-laws will appreciate it, unless
they really are crazy.
Option No. 5 was clearly, I hope, the best route to
take. As the old or new (the quote on Pinterest didn’t
have a date of origin) saying goes, you can’t control
how other people act, but you can control your own
attitude and actions. That was paraphrased.
So, how can you accomplish No. 5 flawlessly? Peel
the potatoes, give spontaneous back rubs (this could
also be taken as creepy), be sociable, and above all, be
grateful and kind, even if they are rude, annoying or just
awkward. Oftentimes, people can come off as strange
because they don’t know how to act themselves. Go
out of your way and break the ice for them, figuratively
speaking. Not only will you feel better knowing you
tried to be nice for your significant others’ sake, but
you’ll also be building your familial resume, in a
sense. Every action adds up, and the better you present
yourself, the more likely they’ll be to welcome you into
their family.
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