Grey Power November 2015

NATIONAL GREYPOWER MAGAZINE » NOVEMBER 2015 37
Funerals – of telling tales, bonding
and a good old-fashioned reunion
Yes, funerals are, or should be, for the
people left behind to renew family
and community bonds, retell old
tales of the deceased and generally
have a good old fashioned reunion.
10777
FROM TOM O’CONNOR
In recent discussions
with some Grey Power
members the cost
of funerals was raised.
Most people in the debate
were of the view that
funerals were far too costly
but no one knew how to
avoid that expense.
Most people have
some form of life insurance
and many even have
prepaid funeral plans but
even then a sudden death
can leave many bereaved
families vulnerable to unexpected,
but often avoidable
costs.
Not many years ago a
funeral was conducted in
the local church with the
clergyman also acting as
part-time director of proceedings.
There was usually,
but not always, some-
one called an undertaker
who provided the coffin,
at a reasonable fee, and
someone to dig the grave.
In many rural communities
in the early part of
last century, family members
or neighbours dug the
grave, a coffin was often
not required and catering
for the mourners was a
communal responsibility.
Relatives and near neighbours
would take care
of the baking, usually as
soon as they learned of
the death. Anything more
substantial, like a mutton
or pork carcass, was the
realm of the menfolk and
everyone else became involved
in the preparation
and cooking.
From these very simple
beginnings not all that
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many years ago, funerals
have now become a
major industry. They are
highly organised, minutely
planned and expensive
productions with a subtle
underlying but false assumption
that a big sendoff
somehow matches the
regard in which the recently
departed was held.
It does not and never has.
Funerals are, or should
be, for the people left behind
to renew family and
community bonds, retell
old tales of the deceased
and generally have a good
old fashioned reunion.
Costs are, or were, minimal
and usually shared
among those closest to the
family.
Now, at this sad, and
often tragic, time most
people are not in the right
frame of mind to make
decisions about costs and
they can be considerable.
While we can avoid some
of the costs of a funeral,
there are some which are
unavoidable.
Among those is a burial
plot in the local cemetery,
which in some communities
has reached in excess
of $4000. We can’t put
Grandma down the back
garden among her beloved
Opposition Leader Andrew Little says…
From page 33
but had to wait more than
six months to get it — by
which time his cancer had
become terminal?
I’ve had to deal with
cancer myself. I know
what it’s like to wait for
the results of that test that
could change your life. It
is ghastly.
National has slashed
$1.7 billion from Health
over six years and further
under investment has
been signalled.
It doesn’t take a rocket
scientist to understand
that if you’re failing to
maintain current funding
in an area where there’s
growing demand something’s
got to give.
Unfortunately, under
this Government, that
something is essential
health services and it’s
New Zealanders, young
and old, who are bearing
the brunt of it.
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roses so there is little
choice, other than cremation,
but to buy what must
be a small piece of the
most expensive real estate
in the country.
While the majority of
funeral directors are thoroughly
professional and
highly ethical in these
delicate times, they have
responded to, rather than
created, the demand for
lavish funerals. It is something
we have, perhaps
unwittingly, imposed on
ourselves.
They take over most of
the organising and logistics
of a funeral, at a time
when grieving families
are not in a good frame of
mind to worry about the
type of flowers, music, order
of speeches and eulogies
and all the things that
make up a modern funeral.
Things that, not long
ago were spontaneous.
Their costs, although
well-earned however, are
also not inconsiderable.
Then there are things
like the coffin, or casket
as it is known as today.
Grey Power
The active organisation for those 50+
The Grey Power Magazine is published quarterly by Waikato Business Publications
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This highly polished item
of one way temporary furniture
can cost anything
from $1000 to three times
that amount.
No one wants the dearly
departed to take their last
journey in a spud sack or
repainted tea crate but is
an ornate, varnished boatsized
box anything more
than following an illogical
and quite new tradition?
Sometime in the late
1950s a family associate
was buried on the door
of his little house. He had
fashioned the door from a
single slab of totara with
little more than an adze
and other basic hand tools.
He was dressed in his best
suit wrapped in bed sheets,
driven to the cemetery on
the back of his old farm
truck and lowered into his
grave on the door. It didn’t
cost anything. The wake in
the little village pub afterwards
was probably quite
costly but everyone dug
into their own pockets as
the evening got later and
stories were longer and
taller.
The next issue of The Grey Power Magazine will be
published in March 2016. Deadlines are:
Editorial: Thursday, 18 February
Advertising: Monday, 22 February
Delivery Address:
The Grey Power Magazine
12 Mill Street, Hamilton 3200
P.O. Box 1425, Waikato Mail Centre, Hamilton 3240
Phone: 07 838 1333 • Fax: 07 838 2807
Editor: Mike Blake
Email: mike@wbn.co.nz
Phone: 07 838 1333 • Mobile: 0272 488 442
Production Manager: Willem Loots
Email: willem@wbn.co.nz
Phone: 07 838 1333 • Mobile: 0210 553 102
Advertising inquiries:
Debbie Jamieson
Email: Debbie@wbn.co.nz
Phone: 07 838 1333 • Mobile: 027 229 0202
A year or so later there
will be another bill for several
thousand dollars for
the headstone.
A few years ago we
found our own headstone
for a family grave
in a quarry where he had
worked. It cost a crate of
beer and we engraved it
ourselves.
Added to these expenses
can be the cost of embalming,
newspaper death
notices, the celebrant’s
fee and a donation to the
church, if one is used,
and the bill is up around
$10,000 or more.
By comparison a basic
cremation will only cost
around $2000 for the
whole show. This is another
project which cannot
be carried out at home in
the back yard incinerator.
There are special facilities
for the task but they need
not include any optional
extras like catering and the
wake in the pub.
They are a matter of
choice and need not impose
unreasonable costs
on the bereaved family.
DISCLAIMER: The information contained in this publication is published in good faith and has been
derived from sources believed to be reliable and accurate. However, neither the Grey Power New
Zealand Federation Inc. nor any person involved in the preparation of this publication accepts any
form of liability whatsoever for its contents, including editorials, advertisements, opinions, advice
or information, or for any consequences for its use. Grey Power New Zealand Federation Inc is a
non-political organisation with no affiliation to any political party or political group. ISSN 1173-2415