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should do?<br />
Student: Take his temperature?<br />
(She feels the patient's forehead.)<br />
Doctor: No.<br />
Student: Feel his pulse?<br />
(She feels the patient's pulse) (on<br />
his good arm).<br />
Doctor: No.<br />
Student: Tell him to say 'Aah'?<br />
Doctor: Pardon?<br />
Student: Say 'Aah'.<br />
Doctor: 'Aah!'<br />
Student: No - him.<br />
Doctor: 'Himmm!'<br />
Student: No! Tell him to say 'Aah'.<br />
Doctor: Ah! Him! (To the patient) Say<br />
'Aah'.<br />
Patient: Pardon?<br />
Doctor: Say 'Aah'.<br />
Patient: Good!<br />
Patient: Actually, doctor, the problem is my<br />
arm -<br />
Doctor: Now we can ask the patient some<br />
questions.<br />
Student: Questions?<br />
Doctor:<br />
Doctor:<br />
Yes - and here they are.<br />
(The doctor gives the student doctor<br />
a list of questions.)<br />
Go on - you can ask him the questions.<br />
Student: Oh. Right.<br />
Doctor: (To the patient) now listen very<br />
carefully, because we have some<br />
very important questions for you.<br />
Patient: But doctor, the problem is -<br />
Doctor: (To the student-doctor) Read the<br />
first question.<br />
Student: Are you Mrs. Elisabeth Robinson of<br />
45 Shakespeare Avenue?<br />
Patient: No.<br />
Doctor: Correct.<br />
Student: Is this your first baby?<br />
Patient: What?<br />
Doctor: Try the next one.<br />
Student: What is the capital of Uruguay?<br />
Patient: Montevideo.<br />
Doctor: Correct. Well, there's nothing<br />
wrong with his South American<br />
geography.<br />
Patient: But doctor -<br />
Doctor: You're fine. You can go now.<br />
Student: Doctor!<br />
Doctor: Yes?<br />
Student: I really think you should examine<br />
the patient.<br />
Doctor: Good idea.<br />
(The doctor places his stethoscope<br />
on the patient's chest.)<br />
Doctor: Cough. (The patient coughs.)<br />
Doctor: Cough.(The patient coughs.)<br />
Doctor: Cough.(The patient coughs.)<br />
Doctor: Cough (The patient coughs.)<br />
Doctor: Cough (The patient coughs.)<br />
Doctor: I know what's wrong with him,<br />
Student: What'<br />
Doctor: He's got a cough<br />
Student: He's got a cough?!<br />
Doctor: Yes and I, Doctor Watson, have got<br />
the answer.<br />
(The doctor produces a bottle of<br />
medicine from his pocket.)<br />
Doctor: (Pointing at the bottle) 'Doctor<br />
Watson's Universal Cough<br />
Remedy.'<br />
Student: 'Doctor Watson's Universal Cough<br />
Remedy?<br />
Doctor: Yes<br />
Student: But what about his arm?<br />
Doctor: Er.. (Pointing at the bottle again)<br />
'Doctor Watson's Universal Cough<br />
and Arm Remedy,'<br />
Student: 'Universal Cough and Arm<br />
Remedy'?<br />
Doctor: Yes - and this is how it works. He<br />
can drink it<br />
(He makes the patient drink some<br />
of the medicine.)<br />
Patient: Aaargh!<br />
Doctor: But it tastes horrible. Or he can<br />
rub it on his back -<br />
(He rubs some of the medicine on<br />
the patient's back.)<br />
Doctor: But he must mix it with water first.<br />
Patient: Aa...aaa...aaargh!<br />
Doctor: As you can see, he's feeling much<br />
better now. All he needs is six<br />
months in hospital. Let's take him<br />
away.<br />
Student: Where? To the hospital?<br />
Doctor: No, to the bus stop. Come on!<br />
(The doctor and the student-doctor<br />
help the patient to his feet, and<br />
they all leave.)<br />
•<br />
SKETCHES<br />
83
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