04-sketches

Boggins Coggins Foggins: the telephone!
Fire chief: Right! Now, telephone practice.
Boggins!
Boggins: Sirl
Fire chief: Give the telephone to Coggins.
Boggins: Sir!
(Boggins gives the telephone to
Coggins.)
Fire chief: Coggins!
Coggins: Sir?
Fire chief: You are the telephone. Foggins!
Foggins: What?
Fire chief: You are the telephone bell.
Foggins: What do you mean?
Fire chief: When I blow my whistle, make a
ringing noise. Telephone practice
- begin!
(The fire chief blows his whistle.
Foggins makes a noise like an
ambulance.)
Fire chief: Not an ambulance, Foggins - a
telephone! Start again.
The fire chief blows his whistle
again.
Foggins: Ring, ring. Ring, ring.
Fire chief: Boggins,
Foggins: Ring, ring.
Boggins: Yes, sir?
Foggins: Ring, ring.
Fire chief: The telephone's ringing,
Foggins: Ring, ring.
Boggins: No, it isn't sir.
Foggins: Ring, ring,
Boggins: It's Foggins, sir. He's going 'Ring,
ring', sir.
Foggins: Ring, ring.
Boggins: There you are, sir.
Fire chief: Boggins, answer the telephone!
Foggins: Ring, ring.
Boggins: All right, sir.
Boggins picks up the telephone.
Foggins: Ring, ring. Ring, ring,
Fire chief: Foggins!
Foggins: Ring, what?
Fire chief: Stop it!
Foggins: Brrrrrr.
Boggins: Nobody there, sir.
Fire chief: Let's start again.
(Boggins puts down the telephone.)
Fire chief: Telephone practice - begin!
The fire chief blows his whistle
again.
Foggins: Ring, ring. Ring, ring.
(Boggins picks up the telephone.)
Boggins: Hello?
Fire chief: Fire station.
Boggins: Oh, hello fire station!
Fire chief: No, Boggins! You are the fire station.
Boggins: Oh, yes. Sorry, sir. Hello? Fire station.
Fire chief: (In a high voice) Help! Help!
Boggins: Is something wrong, sir?
Fire chief: No, Boggins. I am an old lady. I'm
an old lady, and my house is on
fire. That's why I'm calling the
fire station
Boggins: I see, sir.
Fire chief: Continue.
Boggins: Hello, old lady. Can I help you?
Fire chief: (In a high voice)Yes. There's a
fire in my kitchen.
Boggins: OK, We're on our way.
(Boggins puts down the telephone.)
Boggins: Was that all right, sir?
Fire chief: Boggins, where is the fire?
Boggins: In the old lady's kitchen, sir.
Fire chief: Where is the old lady's kitchen?
Boggins: In the old lady's house, sir.
Fire chief: Where is the house?
Boggins: Oh, dear!
(The telephone rings.)
Fire chief: Foggins, stop making that noise
Foggins: It's not me, it's the telephone.
Fire chief: Is it? Oh, right. Coggins!
Coggins: Sir?
Fire chief: Answer the telephone,
Coggins: Sir!
(Coggins answers the telephone.)
Coggins: Yes...Yes...Yes...Yes...Yes...Yes.
OK, we're on our way.
(Coggins puts down the telephone.)
Fire chief: Very good, Coggins. What is it?
Coggins: A fire, sir.
Fire chief: Did you get the name?
Coggins: Yes, sir.
Fire chief: Did you get the address?
Coggins: Yes, sir.
Fire chief: Do you know how to get there?
Coggins: Yes, sir.
Fire chief: Right. Get in line and don't panic.
This is your first fire. Coggins,
where's the fire?
Coggins: In Railway Street, sir,
Fire chief: In Rail - In Railway Street?!
Coggins: Yes, sir.
Fire chief: What number?
Coggins: Number 44, sir.
Fire chief: What?! Quick! Hurry up! Get out
of here and do something!
Foggins: All right, all right you said 'Don't
panic'
Fire chief: Never mind 'Don't panic'. Panic!
Boggins: What's the matter, sir? It's just a
house on fire.
Fire chief: Yes, but it's my house! Panic!
(They panic.)
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