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Gussett and Rose<br />
Scene:<br />
Characters:<br />
A street<br />
Two Englishmen: Albert<br />
Gussett and Harold Rose<br />
The two men pass in the street.<br />
Rose: Goodness me!<br />
Gussett: Well I never!<br />
Rose: Herbert Bishop!<br />
Gussett: Arthur Trigwell!<br />
Rose: No...Actually my name's Harold<br />
Rose.<br />
Gussett: I'm Albert Gussett, as a matter of<br />
fact.<br />
Rose: Albert Gussett, Of course<br />
Gussett: And you're Harold Rose. Of course<br />
you are,<br />
Rose: Well I never!<br />
Gussett: Goodness me!<br />
(They hesitate for a moment.)<br />
Rose: Well, how are you, then?<br />
Gussett: Fine, fine, How's Alice?<br />
Rose: Alice?<br />
Gussett: Yes, Alice, Your wife's name's<br />
Alice, isn't it?<br />
Rose: No, no...Gloria, actually,<br />
Gussett: Oh, yes. Gloria Trigwell<br />
Rose: Er… Rose.<br />
Gussett: Rose Trigwell?<br />
Rose: No, Gloria Rose,<br />
Gussett: Gloria Rose, Of course. How is she?<br />
Rose: She's very well. How's,. ,er...<br />
Gussett: Doris?<br />
Rose: Yes, Doris, your wife. How is she?<br />
Gussett: Oh, she's very well.<br />
Rose: Good, good.<br />
Gussett: - but she isn't my wife.<br />
Rose: No?<br />
Gussett: I'm not married.<br />
Rose: Oh.<br />
Gussett: Doris is my sister.<br />
Rose: Oh, yes<br />
(They hesitate again for a<br />
moment.)<br />
Rose: Well, it is a small world, isn't it,<br />
Herbert?<br />
Gussett: Albert.<br />
Rose: Albert, yes. It seems like yesterday.<br />
Gussett: Yes, it certainly does...<br />
Rose: When we were at that awful school<br />
together.<br />
Gussett: School?<br />
Rose: Yes. Doesn't time fly?<br />
Gussett: We weren't at school together.<br />
Rose: Do you remember that awful<br />
English teacher with black teeth?<br />
Gussett: We weren't at school together.<br />
Rose: Weren't we?<br />
Gussett: No, we were in the Army together.<br />
Rose: We weren't,<br />
Gussett: Weren't we?<br />
Rose: I was in the Navy.<br />
Gussett: Oh<br />
(They hesitate again for a<br />
moment.)<br />
Rose: Er... Albert, I mean Herbert -<br />
Gussett: No, no, Albert's my name.<br />
Rose: Er, yes...Albert, how do we know<br />
each other?<br />
Gussett: I was just wondering about that<br />
myself, er...<br />
Rose: Harold.<br />
Gussett: Yes, Harold. Er...Are you an architect?<br />
Rose: Yes! Are you an architect?<br />
Gussett: No, I'm a taxi-driver.<br />
Rose: Oh.<br />
(They hesitate again.)<br />
Gussett: Are you interested in boxing?<br />
Rose: No, not at all.<br />
Gussett: Ah<br />
Rose: Do you go to the theatre?<br />
Gussett: I went once about twenty years<br />
ago.<br />
Rose: I see.<br />
Gussett: Do you take your holidays in<br />
Brighton?<br />
Rose: No, never.<br />
Gussett: Mmm.<br />
Rose: Do you play golf?<br />
Gussett: No, I don't.<br />
Rose: Well, that's not it then.<br />
(They hesitate again.)<br />
Rose: Do you know. Albert. I don't think<br />
we've met before.<br />
Gussett: No, you're right. We haven't.<br />
Rose: Well, er...l'm Harold Rose,<br />
Gussett : And I'm Albert Gussett.<br />
Rose: How do you do?<br />
Gussett: How do you do?<br />
(They shake hands.)<br />
•<br />
84 SKETCHES
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