Wealden Times | WT200 | October 2018 | Kitchen & Bathroom supplement inside

Education
On good terms
There’s a lot you can do at home to keep your children happy at school says Hilary Wilce
Now we are stuck into the new school year, a
time for fresh beginnings, in the great tradition
of new pencil cases and geometry sets, this
is an optimistic column about all the many things we
can do to help our children stay happy at school.
Because, although it’s not something anyone wants to
think about, there has been more news over the summer
about the shocking number of school-age children
struggling with depression, anxiety and stress.
The good news though, is that there is also a large body of
work about what helps everyone – young people
and adults alike – to maintain mental balance.
First off there are the physical things. It
increasingly seems that inflammation plays a part
in the development of anxiety and depression, so
make sure your child’s body, including their brain,
stays healthy by eating well, drinking enough
water, getting fresh air and exercise and last, but
quite definitely not least, getting the right amount
of sleep.
Then there is the social context you bring your child up
in. Good family bonds, a network of family friends and
links to a wider community all help children feel anchored,
significant and safe. Young people whose only reference
points are their friends and peers can be much more
vulnerable to worry, insecurity and unstable behaviour.
Other things to encourage in your child are the key attitudes
of optimism and hope. This might sound airy-fairy, but these are
known to foster good mental health and once you start looking
it’s possible to find lots of ways to encourage them, whether it’s
“Good family
bonds, a network
of friends and
links to a wider
community”
through modelling those attitudes yourself, or talking to your
children in a positive way about mistakes and challenges.
You can help them see that happy, outward-looking people are
popular and attractive and that happiness doesn’t come through
having lots of cool stuff, or hundreds of social media followers,
but through being comfortable in your own skin, being grateful
for what you’ve got, and making the most of your opportunities.
It also helps to have realistic and positive goals and these
can be encouraged even in very young children. I’ve been in
reception classrooms where children have decided they’d like
to be ‘the person I’d like as a friend’ or ‘not to
be so cross when I’m woken up for school’.
But vague aims don’t have much clout, so
help your child to think their goals through
to specific targets. Not just ‘do my homework
better’ but ‘make a homework timetable and
sit down, without my phone, at six o’clock
to do my work, at least three times a week’.
Older children could also be encouraged
to start developing a sense of purpose in life,
because aiming for something you want to do is said to be another
powerfully protective thing against mental health problems.
This purpose doesn’t have to be set in stone, but a young person
with something specific to aim for is less likely to run into
problems than one who only lives for short-term pleasures.
All these things will definitely help children stay strong
and stable but, of course, if things are more serious, it is
always worth seeking medical attention, and you should
talk to your doctor if you are seriously worried about your
child’s continuing low mood or worrying behaviour.
173 wealdentimes.co.uk