Jackie's Cookbook 6x9 060519 w Bleed

In a fry pan over medium-high heat, melt the butter with the olive oil.
Add the scallops and sear for 3 minutes. Turn the scallops over and
sear for 1 minute. Add the 2 Tbs. lemon juice, wine and 2 Tbs. water
and stir to scrape up the browned bits. Cover, reduce the heat to low
and cook until scallops are just opaque throughout, 2 to 3 minutes.
Divide the brussels sprouts among 4 bowls. Top each serving with 3
scallops and drizzle with the pan juices. Crumble the bacon and sprinkle
over the sprouts, or drizzle with lemon juice and olive oil. Serve hot.
Serves 4.
This fella had a very small little pecker. Never could really do anything
with it because it was so embarrassing. So he went to the Dr.,
and the Dr. said, “Well, I’m sorry, there’s really nothing we can do
for you. But, you do realize, there are women out there with very
small vaginas.” The fella says, “Wow. How will I know which ones
they are?” The Dr. replies, “You’ll have to watch for them, they take
very short steps.” So the fella goes downtown where there are a lot
of people, and he watches, noticing how long of a stride the ladies
passing by take. Finally, he spots one who is taking very short steps,
so he jumps up and catches up with her to introduce himself. It goes
well, so one thing leads to another and they end up on a date and
finally in her bed. As things heat up, he pulls down his pants, and
his drawers, and there stands his little ol’ thing. The girl just starts
laughing! He says, “Oh no! My Dr. told me I’d have good luck with a
woman who took short steps and had a small vagina!” She laughed
even harder and said, “Who told you that?! I take short steps because
my vagina is so large and wore out, my guts would fall out!”
The same man with a small penis goes to several other doctors but
no one will help him out. One day he wins the lottery and of course
he has more options. Suddenly all the doctors are prepared to help
him out. What he wants is a baby elephant’s trunk put on him.
They do the operation, and the operation is a success. Soon after he
talks the young lady into having a candlelight dinner. As they enjoy
dinner, he feels his zipper come down, and out pops his elephant’s
trunk! It reaches across the table, grabs a dinner roll and disappears
back under the table! “Oh my God, that was amazing! Can you
do that again?” she squeals. He says, “I probably could, but I don’t
think my a****** could hold another dinner roll.”
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