IPM May 20

A Mother’s Growing Pains
raised my boys to be confident. From
I the moment they were born, I had a
vision, one in which my children were
able to take risks, find and respect their
boundaries. I wanted them to walk into
a room and feel comfortable talking to
people they had never met and to walk
up to a child on the playground to introduce
themselves. I wanted them to
rise up to a challenge and work hard to
overcome it. So, I encouraged them to
think for themselves. From early in their
toddler years, I asked their opinions
about things, let them explore the world
through play and held myself back when
they encountered a problem. One might
say, at times, I pushed my vision a little
too hard.
When my children were young and they
struggled with something, their shoe was
lost, their brother took their toy, their
friend hurt their feelings, I would ask
them, “What do you think you should do
about that?” I didn’t want to be the source
of all their solutions. I wanted them to
understand that they were capable of solving
their own problems.
One day, though, when my youngest
son was three years old, or so, he climbed
too high on the playground apparatus.
It was one of those Spider Man nets that
peaks like a mountain and he had maneuvered
his way to the very top. I stood by
and watched him, but said nothing. Once
conquering this mountain, he realized
that coming down is often trickier than
scaling up. He stood still for a moment. I
could see he was afraid, but was considering
his options. Then, instead of crying
in fear, he yelled, in a trembling voice,
“Mommy, I don’t know how to solve this
problem!”
The other mothers at the park looked
at me, strangely, as I laughed and climbed
up to guide my son to the bottom of the