paul simon playboy interview

paul simon – 1984 playboy interview small black beetles: the overkill
At first, I was attracted to it. I liked it that somebody was
critical, because I felt that I was someone who was praised
too much. And I thought, Finally, someone who's honest.
But I began not to like it.
Playboy: Depression is a thread that seems to be woven
through your life.
Simon: I didn't realize that until I'd felt it behind. Then I
realized there was a long stretch of time when I wasn't
happy.
Playboy: Beginning when?
Simon: I'd say early Simon and Garfunkel times. That's
when I started to experience it. In 1966, '67. By '69, it got
so serious that I stopped smoking dope. I said, "This isn't
helping; it's making things worse." I didn't smoke another
joint for 11 years.
Playboy: What depressed you so?
Simon: Stuff I don't want to say.
Playboy: That's a surprising answer from one who's been
so candid until now.
Simon: They were feelings about myself that were very
negative. Most people could look at me and wonder, How
could that guy be depressed? And I now feel that people
were seeing a more accurate picture of me than I was. I
eventually realized, Jesus, all I've been looking at is this thin
slice of pie that has got the bad news in it. And I'm
disregarding the rest of the picture.
Playboy: what bad news are you referring to? Being
short?
Simon: Being short. You could say That's bad news. Not
having a voice that you want. Not looking the way you want
to look. Having a bad relationship. Some of that is real. And
if you start to roll it together, that's what you focus on. I
was unable, fundamental, to absorb the bounty that was in
my life. Even when people would say - a simple statement
that I used to hear countless times - "Hey, man, I love your
music," you'd think that I'd begin to feel something good
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