paul simon playboy interview

paul simon – 1984 playboy interview small black beetles: the overkill
about my music, right? But that's a statement I would
ignore. Totally ignore it.
Playboy: Why?
Simon: There's something in me - in a lot of people - that
says, "Gee, if I admit that things are actually going well,
maybe they'll stop." Or "If I admit I'm happy, maybe I won't
be able to write." I think the psyche comes up with all
kinds of contrivances to protect what it thinks is
vulnerable. And sometimes those contrivances are that you
stay in a state of unhappiness. Or victimization. It's almost
saying, "Hey, don't get mad at me for being so successful
and doing so well, because look how unhappy I am."
Playboy: What changed that feeling?
Simon: I think the success of Still Crazy loosened me up.
Made me feel good about myself. My friendship with
Lorne Michaels was very good. I could talk with him about
anything, without any competitiveness. Also, my
relationship with Shelley Duvall, during the same period.
While it wasn't ultimately satisfying, it was really something
that I enjoyed. As much as I was frustrated by it - and, of
course, ultimately we broke up - I was very pleased that I
was going with Shelley. I truly admired her work. I really
liked the way she looked. We just weren't a match in
terms of personality. So I think despite my habitual
looking at the negative as a form of protection, I began to
get happy.
Playboy: What role has being short played in the negative
feelings?
Simon: I think it had the most significant single effect on
my existence, aside from my brain. In fact, it's part of an
inferior-superior syndrome. I think I have a superior brain
and an inferior stature, if you really want to get brutal
about it. The concept goes much further that that, but
that's where it starts. And the inferior-superior feeling
goes back and forth so fast sometimes that it becomes a
blur.
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