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The Answer Lady invites inquiries from<br />
gentle readers on all manner of relationship<br />
quandaries, matters of the<br />
heart and ethics. If you’d like to send<br />
a query, write to info@exitzero.us. Or,<br />
simply sit back, enjoy a cup of coffee and contemplate<br />
the wisdom herein.<br />
Dear Answer Lady<br />
I’m a bartender and furloughed with the<br />
new COVID restrictions. The problem, other<br />
than being out of work, is that I can’t tear<br />
myself away from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram<br />
or any other social media outlet. Hardly<br />
any of it is inspirational. Most of it is depressing<br />
but I can’t stop myself from going back to it.<br />
Any words of wisdom? — Social Media Junkie<br />
Dear SM Junkie<br />
The Answer Lady suggests finding a purpose<br />
other than work or sitting idly by. Carve<br />
out a strict “work” schedule for yourself which<br />
should include going to North Beach Gym and<br />
even adding a trainer to get you jump started.<br />
If money is an issue, you can run/walk along<br />
the Promenade. Also, set aside an hour or<br />
The Answer Lady<br />
Wise answers to perplexing questions<br />
two for reading or listening to music. Finally,<br />
limit your time on the internet. Put the phone<br />
in a drawer. Cold turkey is not a good idea but<br />
limiting your computer/Smart Phone use to an<br />
hour a day should get you back on track. Also,<br />
Kaleidoscope sells a book titled Unplugged. Use<br />
it as a guide to curb your addiction.<br />
Dear Answer Lady<br />
My husband died about a year ago. I was<br />
devastated and his brother has been a comfort<br />
to me and also suffered a loss a few years back.<br />
The problem is that I’m developing feelings for<br />
him and think he is too. I wonder if I should<br />
bring the subject up or distance myself from<br />
him for a bit because I do feel guilty. I also worry<br />
what people will think of me dating so soon and<br />
of all people, my husband’s brother. I’ve never<br />
been good at being alone. — Lonely Heart<br />
Dear Lonely<br />
That’s a lot of guilt you’re carrying for no<br />
real reason. Step one — Forgive yourself. Step<br />
two — Forget about what people will think.<br />
What is important is what you think. You<br />
need a therapy weekend. Check yourself into<br />
Congress Hall and get a massage. Then, treat<br />
yourself to a cocktail in the Brown Room and<br />
dinner at the Blue Pig. Use this time to think<br />
about what happened and take it all in. There<br />
is nothing wrong with developing a feeling<br />
for your brother-in-law but beware of your<br />
motivations. Do you like your brother-in-law<br />
for who he is or the memory he evokes of your<br />
late husband? When you answer that question,<br />
everything will fall into place.<br />
November 26, 2020 EXIT ZERO Page 51
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