Winter 2020

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sitting in the audiologist’s office and her giving us the diagnosis. Our daughter had severe to profound hearing loss. The severity and magnitude of those words didn’t quite register with me. “Are you saying she’s deaf?” I had to ask her. The audiologist responded, “You could say that, yes.” I was devastated. I felt as though life, as I knew it, was over. What would raising a child with additional needs look like? Would she be okay? What would happen to my career? What would people think of her? Of me? Did I do something to cause her hearing loss? How would my older daughter cope with all of this? I was spiraling, but I knew that somehow, I had to bounce back and be strong for Ellie and my family. I had to push the negativity aside and get through the fear and uncertainty. The following principles helped me find my bearings and get back on track. I’m sharing them for anyone who’s in a difficult place and needs a little help finding their way. Helplessness Gives Way to Courage. After Ellie’s diagnosis, every insecurity I had about myself seemed to fall away. I didn’t have time to over-analyze my weaknesses anymore. At once, I was completely vulnerable, but as I became her advocate, my strength, fortitude, and resilience grew. When the shelter-in-place order began, I started teaching kids yoga classes online because I wanted to provide a way for parents and kids to connect and stay active. Ellie also had a positive response to yoga acting out different animal sounds and combining language with movement. This inspired me to use it as a tool to teach her and other kids with similar diagnoses. What started out as a fulfilling passion blossomed into my own business, Hop Along Yogi Kids Yoga, something I never dreamed of or even considered doing, but overcoming my fears associated with Ellie’s diagnosis gave me the confidence and courage to tackle any challenge thrown my way. I kept reminding myself that it’s not about where I’ve been but where I’m about to go. Tiny Victories Create Big Momentum. When your child has a health issue, you become hyper aware and hyper consumed by their progress. Along the journey, you value mini-milestones, even more than the great, big milestones. With Ellie, her first word was so amazing but the initial babbles, the learning-to-listen sounds (moo, shhh, ahhahh) created an even greater sense of pride because I knew we were on the right path. We celebrated (and will continue to celebrate) every tiny victory because each mini-milestone is the catalyst to an even greater achievement. 5
inging mindfulness, strength and joy to all kids Community is Everything. It was overwhelming and isolating when I found out about Ellie’s hearing loss. I shut down and shut people out. But when I opened up to my tribe, they pulled me through the outlet I needed to better balance the needs of my children with my needs and share the benefits of yoga with more people. Through this experience, I found more fulfillment and pride than I ever anticipated making me feel whole again. hard times. I surrounded myself with positive people, a team of supporters — friends, therapists, Facebook groups who understood what I was experiencing, and I shared my story with them, and asked a lot of questions. The more I relied on people, the closer I felt to them which got me through the valleys. Over the last two years, I’ve experienced my share of detours, but through them I’ve met new people, formed deeper personal connections, challenged myself in new ways and spent more time with the people I love. Now, my life doesn’t feel so much like a detour, it just feels like I travelled off the beaten path and discovered something Me-Time Makes Better We-Time. truly wonderful.” I found myself thrust into a life-changing situation, one that I didn’t plan for and never saw coming. I was completely consumed by Ellie’s diagnosis and believed that the more I gave, the more I could ensure her success. But slowly the stress of constant care took its toll on my personal health, emotional state, and relationships. For me, starting Hop Laura Kowalski is owner and founder of Hop Along Yogi Kids Yoga. She teaches weekly, “live-online” classes, utilizing a flexible pay model to make classes more accessible to all. Visit www.hopalongyogi.com for more information. M Along Yogi enabled me to re-ground myself. It provided the 6
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Winter 2020

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