Focus on the Family Magazine - February/March 2021

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TEEN * FICTION SO GOOD THEY JUST CAN’T EVEN! Coming in For Girls: March Real, Not Perfect and Searching for Normal (The Riverbend Friends Series) AIO #70: Finding a Way What made Wyatt For Guys pull and a Girls: Easy Target and Escape from the Everglades crazy stunt that sent him to hospital? And who stole Connie’s Growing car? up Emily isn’t easy Jones … is busy solving her own mystery; but God is a friend in the middle of she’s been falsely accused it all! <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family has great of a crime, but can she trust new fiction that middle school and Morrie and Suzu to help her high school kids will read and vibe sort it out? Uncover the truth with. And you’ll love that all these amid lessons about fear, true heroism titles and will affirm new their beginnings! faith. Shop.<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.caTM *ages 12 to 18 Give them young adult literature they’ll love. Pre-order online at or call 1.800.661.9800 All titles coming soon at: <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.com/Store As I shop with my children, for instance, I have an ongoing dialogue with them. “If you buy that water bottle, will you actually be healthier?” or “If we buy that T-shirt, will your classmates like you more?” Stating what is being advertised and training my children to tell me the message of what’s being sold helps them see the value of the object, not the expectation of the ad or the subtle pressure behind it to become someone they’re not. I also try to get my children to keep the following questions in mind as they work to understand what is behind their desires and decisions: • What is motivating me? • Why do I want to do this? • Why do I want this item? The more I engage in these kinds of discussions with my kids, the more likely they’ll consider these questions on their own when faced with decisions. Engaging in a faith community Every Sunday, my family is well prepared for the morning church service. We have bags packed with snacks, and coloring and origami books to help keep little hands busy. My children use these activities whether we listen online during church-building closures or in a church pew. Being part of a faith community that allows them this freedom is important in helping my kids engage with people from all walks of life. As these people share their testimonies and unique journeys with God, my children have the opportunity to keep their perspective on what is eternal. Praising God through song with others helps my children remember who God says we are. Their identity is more foundational than what they achieve or acquire. In worship, we remember how we all find our deepest identity in being God’s children. My husband and I also remind our older boys to stand and sing and recite the Lord’s Prayer with everyone. It might be easier to let them quietly do their activities, but we want to show them how to be participants, not simply consumers— even at church. We want them to know that faith is active, not passive. Parenting discipleship Spending time with our kids is a powerful way to shape and disciple them (Deuteronomy 6:7). So my husband and I use dinner, family walks and bedtime as touch points. Dinner is a time for us to encourage spiritual formation. The table is the place where we bring our day’s highs and lows, and have emotional temperature check-ins. It allows us to process feelings and failures in light of who Jesus says we are. One child will talk about feeling bored and sad, another will be quiet and not have
GRATITUDE / KIDS & TEENS LISTEN NOW! Ashley Hales identifies the idols of suburbia and describes how we can ensure that God is our top priority, along with His mission of sharing the Gospel with our neighbors. <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.com/TooMuch <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Radio words for his feelings, and another will be grateful for her vegetable seeds sprouting in our planter. After dinner, we take a stroll through our neighborhood. This is a relaxed time in which we can learn more about our children’s lives. We might ask questions such as “What made you frustrated today?” “Where did you see God’s beauty?” or “What have you been reading in your Bible lately?” They also listen to us talk about what God is doing in our lives, what we’re dreaming about and what challenges we’re facing. Walking helps us really see our neighborhood, too. We can notice where people hang out and what our neighbors’ needs are so we can look for ways to serve those who live near us. At our children’s bedtime, my husband and I often take the opportunity to instill in our children a desire to seek God on their own. We challenge them to grow closer to God through daily prayers, Bible reading and age-appropriate devotions. Then they can tell us what they’ve learned each night. Practicing hospitality Affluence can pull our kids toward becoming so self-absorbed that they neglect to consider how they can meet other people’s needs, which is an important part of loving our neighbor (Matthew 22:39). For my family, the dinner table is our primary way to love our neighbors. Jesus not only walked everywhere—teaching, preaching and healing—but He also spent a lot of time sharing a meal with others. When we host guests in our home, we intentionally include our children in the preparations. Their chores may include cleaning, cooking and even being social. These hospitable contributions require the sacrifice of time and go against the grain of an acquire-more-and-thinkonly-of-your-needs culture. Hospitality is about giving up some of our comforts and conveniences to make someone else feel welcomed and cared for. We are teaching our kids how to sit and chat with a new family from church or a neighbor stopping by for a visit. While we’re gathered around the table, we’re able to naturally share the Good News of Jesus as a part of being in relationship with people. This practice helps our kids understand the ebb and flow of conversation, what it takes to develop relationships and even how to have empathy for others as they tell us about their lives. When we practice hospitality, we show our kids that relationships are important. When a new family moved in across the street last summer, I was pleased to see that our kids were the first to extend hospitality. They included the new child in their skateboarding adventures and invited him to play tag and climb trees. And when they said, “Hey, Mom, our new neighbors are outside,” I put down the dishes I was washing, followed my kids’ lead and made my way outside to get to know them. Because of these actions, I was able to develop a bond with our neighbors as we smiled at our children’s antics and began the process of getting to know each other. Finding your family’s focus Life is found not in the doing or having but in the being—with Jesus, with each other at church, as a family and with neighbors. Even as we practice living faithfully in a land of plenty, the Spirit of God is going to show up and teach our kids better than we ever could. But it starts with preparing them for not getting all they want at a fast-food restaurant and then not getting angry at them for their reaction. Instead, it becomes another teaching moment in family discipleship. The Bible is clear that our deepest identity is as beloved children of God (John 1:12). And that is more than enough. True riches will only come to our kids if they know who they are in Christ and respond to what He wants them to do in the lives of others. • ashley hales is the author of Finding Holy in the Suburbs: Living faithfully in the land of too much. February / March 2021 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 39
Page 1 and 2: COUNTERING THE CULTURE OF ENTITLEME
Page 3 and 4: Contents February / March FLAFFY /
Page 5 and 6: Hacks & Facts CLEVER IDEAS FOR SMAR
Page 7 and 8: INFANT SLEEP / HACKS & FACTS Calmin
Page 9 and 10: WAITING / HACKS & FACTS 96% of Amer
Page 11 and 12: Couples therhythm of walking togeth
Page 13 and 14: COMMITMENT / cOuPlES ALL SIGNS POIN
Page 15 and 16: COMMITMENT / cOuPlES every week, sm
Page 17 and 18: HOPE RESTORED / cOuPlES PHOTOS COUR
Page 19 and 20: The Hope Restored marriage intensiv
Page 21 and 22: RESILIENCE / cOuPlES living one pan
Page 23 and 24: RESILIENCE / cOuPlES Date nights wi
Page 25 and 26: Faith & Inspiration CREDIT BLACKDAY
Page 27 and 28: MENTAL HEALTH / FaITH & INSPIRaTION
Page 29 and 30: MENTAL HEALTH / FaITH & INSPIRaTION
Page 31 and 32: TESTIMONY / FaITH & INSPIRaTION But
Page 33 and 34: MINISTRY HIGHLIGHT / FaITH & INSPIR
Page 35 and 36: Kids & Teens seeing my family as a
Page 37: GRATITUDE / KIDS & TEENS How to hel
Page 41 and 42: INTENTIONALITY / KIDS & TEENS WHEN
Page 43 and 44: ADAPTABILITY / KIDS & TEENS Do your
Page 45 and 46: HUMOR / KIDS & TEENS I got played b
Page 47 and 48: for “OH, HONEY, WE NEE D THIS”

Focus on the Family Magazine - February/March 2021

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