Focus on the Family Magazine - June/July 2021

KIDS & TEENS / ADAPTABILITY
ADAPTABILITY / KIDS & TEENS
she was an educator specializing
in early childhood education, and
a senior consultant for the city of
New York, tasked with evaluating
the city’s preschool and early educational
programs.
Mom gave us a simple piece of
advice: “Dave, if you create an environment
where reading is fun,
Danielle will come to love and value
reading.”
I followed her suggestion. I began
reading to Danielle every night after
work, changing my voice inflections
to impersonate the characters in the
story. I laughed when they laughed,
mimicked crying when they cried
and rolled on the carpet when they
did a happy dance. In a short time,
my little girl started reading. Her
appetite for books became voracious.
The same thing happened when
her sister, Jessica, came along. By
making the process fun, a love of
books and learning was instilled in
our daughters’ hearts. Three decades
later, Danielle and Jessica still maintain
a healthy appetite for books.
My wife and I took the same
approach when it came to racial and
ethnic diversity. We taught our kids
that “different” isn’t bad—in fact,
it’s fun and interesting. Marlinda
and I established enjoyable, simple
rituals, such as eating at different
ethnic restaurants, frequently enjoying
the dishes of different cultures,
including Italian, Chinese, Jamaican,
Peruvian and others.
We read books to our kids about
different parts of the world—exploring
their cultures, habits, beliefs and
music. Then we went on social outings
to museums and theatrical
plays that showcased the contributions
that various cultures and racial
groups made to society. Today it’s
even possible to discover multicultural
experiences on the internet,
which you can explore together.
Give your children the gift of valuing
diversity by learning about other
cultures and ethnicities in a fun way.
It will help your family move forward
in your journey down Route 316.
3. Remember this is
also your journey
You may have heard that “the best
sermon is a lived sermon.” This is
one of my go-to statements. Sadly,
most of our verbal coaching with our
kids will fall on deaf ears without the
validation that modeling brings.
Right before a father tucked his
son into bed, the 7-year-old prayed
about school, and for his friends
and grandparents. But then he said,
“Dear God, I bet it is very hard for You
to love everybody in the whole world.
There are only four people in our
family, and I can never do it.”
What this boy craved was a
model—someone who could coach
him on how to live and love amid the
tensions of human relationships. To
teach your kids the value of diversity,
you must first value it. Until your
children see people of other races
join your social circle, valuing diversity
will remain a nebulous concept.
Just because we check yes to the
question “Do you love your neighbor
as yourself?” does not mean our lives
support that answer.
My children often heard me
speak on the phone with friends
from Australia, Germany and even
New Zealand. They flipped through
my passport showcasing the many
nations in which I had preached:
Israel, England, Spain, Zambia and
the United Arab Emirates, among
others. They even accompanied
Marlinda and me on mission trips to
other countries, such as Guatemala,
the Dominican Republic, Kenya
and more. And perhaps they have
overheard me pray one of Mother
Teresa’s favorite prayers: “May God
break my heart so completely that
the whole world falls in.”
God modeled His love for the
world by giving. In fact, He gave
His only begotten Son. Integrity is
the practice of doing the right thing
above knowing the right thing. It
calls for practical actions and not
professorial answers.
So don’t just tell your kids it’s
important to love people who are
different from you; show them.
Invite a family of another race to
your home for dinner. Have them
bring one of their cultural dishes. To
break the ice, openly admit you want
your family to grow cross-culturally.
Then turn the conversation into
storytelling—the use of personal
stories that showcase your heart,
experiences and journey in various
seasons of life. Stories have a way of
leveling the playing field, knitting
hearts together, shortening social
distances and cushioning feelings of
awkwardness. >>>
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
June / July 2021
June / July 2021 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 35