Mark Manson - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F__k (2016, HarperOne) - libgen.li

therapy then acted as a means to pull these unconscious desires out and put
them into a seemingly tangible form of a memory.
This process, and the state of mind it resulted in, became so common that
a name was introduced for it: false memory syndrome. It changed the way
courtrooms operate. Thousands of therapists were sued and lost their
licenses. Repressed memory therapy fell out of practice and was replaced by
more practical methods. Recent research has only reinforced the painful
lesson of that era: our beliefs are malleable, and our memories are horribly
unreliable.
There’s a lot of conventional wisdom out there telling you to “trust
yourself,” to “go with your gut,” and all sorts of other pleasant-sounding
clichés.
But perhaps the answer is to trust yourself less. After all, if our hearts
and minds are so unreliable, maybe we should be questioning our own
intentions and motivations more. If we’re all wrong, all the time, then isn’t
self-skepticism and the rigorous challenging of our own beliefs and
assumptions the only logical route to progress?
This may sound scary and self-destructive. But it’s actually quite the
opposite. It’s not only the safer option, but it’s liberating as well.
The Dangers of Pure Certainty
Erin sits across from me at the sushi restaurant and tries to explain why she
doesn’t believe in death. It’s been almost three hours, and she’s eaten exactly
four cucumber rolls and drunk an entire bottle of sake by herself. (In fact,
she’s about halfway through bottle number two now.) It’s four o’clock on a
Tuesday afternoon.
I didn’t invite her here. She found out where I was via the Internet and
flew out to come find me.
Again.
She’s done this before. You see, Erin is convinced that she can cure
death, but she’s also convinced that she needs my help to do it. But not my
help in like a business sense. If she just needed some PR advice or
something, that would be one thing. No, it’s more than that: she needs me to
be her boyfriend. Why? After three hours of questioning and a bottle and a
half of sake, it still isn’t clear.