Find Freedom From What Does Not Serve You AT FORTY FIVE Magazine Issue 2101 06

WHEN WE CARE TOO
MUCH IT HURTS
/ BY SUE DUMAIS
Caring too much can be more harmful than helpful. The idea that we should be caring and
compassionate individuals is not a new concept. We are taught at a very young age to care about
others but the problem is that there is more importance placed on caring about what others think,
do, and have. We are often programmed to care more about other people’s lives and their opinions
than our own lives and opinions.
“What will the neighbours think?”
“Stop doing that—everyone is watching.”
We learn to care so much that we are in constant judgment or fear of judgment, judging whether
others are good or bad, rich or poor, kind or mean, healthy or unhealthy; judging whether they like
us or not and whether they approve of what we are doing or not doing. Caring more about others
becomes a distraction from caring about ourselves and it also opens us up to deep hurt and more
harm than good.
When I was knee-deep into the fitness and wellness industry, I was a sponge for knowledge. I was
constantly taking courses, reading books, and studying research. Finding out how the body works
and what makes it tick consumed me. I was addicted to health and sharing that message with
others. It fed my childhood desire to save the world. In truth, it wasn’t just a strong desire—it
became my responsibility. In other words, I made it my mission, my responsibility. It was on my
shoulders to save the world and everyone in it, including the animals. Just a small burden to bear!
When people were interested in what I had to teach them, it was easy, fulfilling, and I felt a deep
sense of purpose and impact. But my desire to save the world wasn’t just for those who were
interested or ready to be saved. I wanted to help EVERYONE whether they wanted help or not. What
I thought was if I could just teach them what I knew they would see how important it was and they