Welcome to the Club - Winter 2022

Sometimes, no news really is good news.
3G CUSTOM APPAREL & MORE
T-shirt & Sweater Pressing
FUNDRAISERS WELCOME
Photo credit:
Phil Collins
(for real)
4110 Petrolia Line
Petrolia
519-882-1212
~ OPEN 6 Days a Week ~
Tues. to Sat. 11am to 8pm
Sunday 11am to 6pm
My Lefthanded, Backwards,
Upsidedown Life & Assorted Short Stories
Well, back in the old days, I was
pretty much terrified of girls. I knew
I liked what they had to offer, but was
pretty uninterested in actually seeking
them out. Didn’t like to put them in
the awkward position of having to
crush my dreams and didn’t like to
be put in the position of having my
dreams crushed. Problem was that
I’d made new friends in high school,
and these guys were obsessed with
chasing girls – it was pretty much all
they thought about – except possibly
how to get hold of some liquor and
get drunk – because that was starting
to happen as well – but that’s another
story. Anyway, if you were intent on
chasing girls, it meant that you were
likely going to end up going to dances
– and, if you remember, dances were
not my favourite activity.
However, in order to be one of
the crowd, I knew I’d have to attend
dances. So, I bucked it up and went
to the first few dances of the school
year. Everything was going okay
because I would sort of hide off to
the side of the event and let my
buddies have their way with the girls.
In those days, most dances featured
a live band, so it was always good
to watch the band – mainly because
things were happening in that area
of my life as well – but that’s another
story, too. And, so, I ended up in my
Sunday best at the annual Valentine’s
Dance. Not really too worried, but
knowing I’d need to keep my guard
up nonetheless……
And the dance was going okay, and
I was doing my usual hiding, when
something unfortunate happened.
One of my newfound buddies wanted
to dance with this certain girl in the
worst way – but she had a friend she
was with…and none of the other guys
seemed to be around. So, he asked the
By John Gardiner
The following is an excerpt from “My Lefthanded,
Backwards, Upsidedown Life & Assorted Short Stories”
by Wallaceburg writer John Gardiner, who grew up and
came of age in Hanover, Ontario during the 1950’s and
1960’s. In this memoir, Gardiner tells the story of his
growing-up years with a series of colourful anecdotes
about the way life used to be. More of the writer’s work is
available at www.johngardinerstories.com or by contacting
the author at gardiner@kent.net.
I Attend the Valentine’s Dance
inevitable question in a circumstance
like this. Would I go with him and ask
the friend to dance. I said, “No, man,
I don’t actually dance.” He responded
that it was a dance I was attending
and he’d buy me a “ten-to-go” bag of
French Fries after if I’d do it. So, off
we headed across the dance floor. And
before I knew it, I was dancing. It was
a slow tune and for my generation of
dancers what that meant was that all
you had to do was grapple with your
partner – there were no real steps but
it was good if you kept your feet to
yourself. I made it through the song,
whereupon the girl I had asked said
her thanks and headed off. I don’t
remember how my friend made out,
but I had done my duty….and I’d
danced with a real live girl and lived
to tell about it.
Now the thing was that at the
annual Valentine’s Dance, they had
a tradition at old HDHS and that was
that near the end of the night, they
crowned the “Queen of Hearts.” And
the way they did this was by putting
all the girls’ names in a big empty
thing, then drawing out one of them.
And, of course, they pulled the name
of the girl I’d danced with. So, she
headed off up to the stage to receive
her honours. And when she got there,
something truly horrible happened.
They asked her who she had last
danced with – and, you guessed it, it
was me. And, suddenly, I was on stage
and I was the “King of Hearts”…….
Wow…..They slapped a cardboard
crown on my head and shoved a
sceptre into my hands and I was all
set. Truly one of the most traumatic
things that has ever happened to me.
I did survive, but it was a close call. It
taught me that I’d need to do a better
job of hiding as I journeyed through
life. Hide well, my friends, because
there are bad things in life and they’re
just waiting out there to get you.
Welcome to ...
Established in 1978,
Lambton Pharmacy continues to
provide caring, professional pharmacy
services to residents of the beautiful
town of Petrolia and Lambton County.
4130 Glenview Rd, Unit 2, Petrolia
519-882-0650
Danielle Edgar, B.Sc., PharmD
Pharmacist
Monday–Friday 9–6
Saturday 9–12
HOGAN
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THE Club
Everything for
your Kning,
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Cross Stch &
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2776 LaSalle Line, PETROLIA • 519-882-8740
(BETWEEN MANDAUMIN & WATERWORKS)
Wed.10-5 • Thurs.10-6 • Fri.10-5 • Sat. 10-3
www.country-yarns.com
395 Fletcher St
Petrolia, Ontario
4177 Petrolia Line, Petrolia • (519) 882-1840
THE WALK
OF DOWNTOWN PETROLIA
Petrolia’s Alternative Fuel
226-738-0665
blackgold.beer
Full Service Pharmacy
Full Service Cosmetic Department
Full Service Home Health Care Dept.
Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-6, Sun10-5
Petrolia’s
Luxury
Downtown
Development
The Walk is Petrolia’s only luxury
apartment project in the downtown
core. Within walking distance to the
grocery store, hospital, pharmacies and
more, the location is ideal for adopting
Petrolia’s trendy downtown lifestyle. 519-882-3157
www.albanyretirementvillage.com/the-walk
winter 2022 Life Taught Me... Never assume everyone has the same heart as you do. P A G E 33