Wealden Times | WT243 | August 2022 | Taste Of The South East Supplement inside

Farm
Fables
Jane Howard hands over
the farm as she goes on
a well-earned holiday
For most people going on holiday
involves packing, sending the cat
or dog off to kennels and giving the
goldfish an extra pinch. If only it were so straight
forward with a farm. We have lots of enthusiastic
friends volunteering their services and really at this
time of year it should be quite uneventful. All the lambs
and calves have been born and are out grazing in the fields.
The bull has finished ‘working’, the rams are yet to get
going and the hay is made, so a simple list should do the
trick. But as I’ve just discovered dealing with everyone’s
foibles makes it rather more complicated. Here it is:
Dogs – easy. Feed them in the evening.
Chickens – usually straight forward. Three
handfuls of pellets in the morning when
you let them out, a couple more when
they crowd round the back door around
dusk, check their water, collect the eggs
and shut them up at night. The latter now
rather protracted as they see no reason
to turn in much before nine which is
dull for anyone wanting to enjoy a pub
supper. But more annoying still is that
Barbara the black hen who in three years
has never shown any maternal instincts
decided to go broody just before we left. This means she
intends to become a mum and sit tight in the hen house
on all and any available eggs. But we already have two
clutches of chicks running round and don’t want any more,
so the intrepid farm sitters will now have to retrieve the
day’s eggs (laid by the other hens) from under Barbara
who won’t approve and will peck them as they try!
We already have two
clutches of chicks
running round and
don’t want any more,
so the intrepid farm
sitters will now have to
retrieve the day’s eggs
with a couple of steers (castrated males). But I took a couple
of the cows to the summer shows in May and June which
can be disruptive on their reproductive cycle and just to be
sure I have left Basil with them while we are away. So the
farm sitters have to keep an eye out for any
action – being large beasts it’s pretty obvious
– and then rather intrepidly (if you’re not
used to it) get close enough to the action
to scribble down the ear tag number of the
cow concerned. I’m sure they’ll manage.
Sheep – hmm. Sheep are the most
annoying of all the creatures on the farm.
They love to escape and they love to die
and if they can die escaping even better.
It’s impossible to count sixty ewes and
their lambs to ensure everyone is present
and correct, so the farmsitters will just have to make sure
all the fences are good, the gates are shut and that no one
is lying on their back with their legs in the air. Then our
helper Thomas will come every couple of days to look
for afflictions such as Fly Strike, an especially gruesome
condition that sheep suffer from in the summer. No point
spoiling the dream and detailing that to our urban chums.
Cows – medium easy. The cows all calve in February and
March and Basil the bull went in with them in May so they
should all have come back into season and he should have
done what he came to do. Normally he would now be in
a separate field living a batchelor existence for another year
Apart from that I checked the bees to ensure they
wouldn’t swarm, fed Gerald (the sourdough culture
who lives in our fridge) a super helping of flour and
water, packed the bags and went. So far, they seem
to be managing perfectly. I’m off for a swim.
Find out more about daily life at Coopers Farm by visiting coopersfarmstonegate.co.uk
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