VL-Issue 44- July 22

not sure I would know how to live without
it. I am well aware that my choices today
impact people I will never meet on this side
of heaven. I strive daily to live a life that my
kids will want to model. The funny thing
is that no matter how hard I try, I usually
feel like a failure at the end of the day. And
these failures taunt me. My response is
to work harder and try to do better. It’s a
weighty burden.
When God and I set out on our journey
together, I remembered Matthew 11:28–30
(NIV), where Jesus says, “Come to me, all
you who are weary and burdened, and I will
give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and
learn from me, for I am gentle and humble
in heart, and you will find rest for your
souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden
is light.”
These verses helped me understand
that the pressure I live under is not from
God; it is self-imposed. His purposes for
my life will never weigh me down, nor will
they create anxiety, self-condemnation,
or pressure. They also won’t invoke fear,
doubt, or confusion.
If I am under these things, then I must
be under something other than the will of
God. There is freedom, peace, and order
wherever the Lord is—not bondage, fear,
and chaos. (See 1 Corinthians 14:33; 2
Timo thy 1:7; 2 Corinthians 3:17.)
I’m not responsible for everyone’s life
outcome. Each individual is accountable
for their own choices. I’m also not responsible
for being everyone’s provider and
solving their problems. That’s God’s job.
And my taking on these responsibilities
is me trying to play God.
Here’s a fresh revelation: I’m not God! I
can’t tell you how freeing it is to let go of
that responsibility.
That doesn’t mean God doesn’t want me
to care for others. I am His hands and feet
on this earth, and I am called to serve and
give. But He is teaching me that I’m not
responsible for people; I am responsible
to them. My role is to live a life of integrity
and to operate in my giftings as I serve,
love, and honor those around me.
To put it simply: God is calling me to
focus on being, not doing.
The greatest thing I can do for others
is to be a surrendered child of God; the
rest will take care of itself (Matthew 6:33).
He calls me to trust Him (Proverbs 3:5–6)
and release my loved ones to His care. God
loves my family and staff more than I do,
and His plan and provision for them will
not fail.
I’ve already told you that my motive for
doing has been to prove my worth. But the
Lord has also revealed the driving force
behind that motive: fear. Deep down, I need
to prove I am somebody because I am desperately
afraid that I am nobody.
If I fail, I’m afraid I’ll prove that what my
classmates, a former boss, and even some
family members said about me was right.
They said I’d be poor and never amount to
anything, that my ideas were stupid, and
that I’d fall flat on my face. I strive because
I’m terrified that what they said will become
my reality. I also fear I’ll fail my wife
and children.
But a fear-based, performance-driven
life is not what God intends for His children
to experience. That’s Satan’s desire.
God has never asked any of us to prove
our worth.
Before we accomplished one thing in
this world, He exchanged His Son’s life for
ours (John 3:16). The Lord’s love for us has
never been based on what we do but on
who we are—His children. And what we
do isn’t what pleases Him either. It’s how
we trust Him that matters (Hebrews 11:6).
I’m thankful for these revelations and all
the others. And I am committed to allowing
the Lord to work in my life. I do want
to experience His freedom and rest, but
I’m finding that a learning experience too.
Like I’ve said, I work nonstop. I have for
years. I don’t understand people who don’t
want to work or who give excuses why they
can’t work. But God is teaching me that
working nonstop isn’t His intention either.
Rest is good, and God commands us to do
so. It’s the fourth commandment. Even God
rested from His work (Genesis 2:2–3).
Still, if I’m not working, I wrestle with
feeling guilty, lazy, and unproductive. I feel
like I’m not being a man and providing for
my family. The Lord is helping me work
Jay and his wife, Eri,
stay busy working
but often sneak away
for fun.
through these patterns of wrong thinking.
He is teaching me to find balance in
my life—not just for me, but for the sake
of my family.
My constant going keeps my loved ones
on the move too. And the pressure I’m
under seeps into their lives whether I intend
it to or not. We are all weary. My wife
and teenage son work ridiculously hard
and long hours. Our family bounces from
restaurant to restaurant, event to event.
As you can see, I am learning much
about myself and the why behind my what.
And I am sure God will have a lot more to
show me in His time as He helps me become
who He created me to be. I’m excited
for God to transform me into a new person
as I change how I think. Then I’ll be able
to experience His will, which is good and
pleasing and perfect. (See Romans 12:2.)
Perhaps today, you are under heavy
burdens and being attacked by fear. Like
me, you’re afraid that people’s words and
thoughts about you will come true. God
wants to help you be free of your burdens
and escape the turmoil. Jesus’s promise of
rest is for you too. Lay your burdens down,
my friend. Right here at Jesus’s feet.
JAY BASTARDO is on mission to discover his
identity in Christ. He and his family serve their
community through authentic Dominican food and
heartfelt service while living out God’s agape love
to the world.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 03 / 2022
17