It Starts with Us by Colleen Hoover

Chapter Sixteen
Lily
You lose your mornings after having children.
I used to open my eyes and lie in bed for several minutes before grabbing
my phone and catching up on everything I might have missed while I slept.
I’d have a cup of coffee, and then mentally map out my day while I
showered.
But now that I have Emmy, her early morning cry rips me out of bed, and
I become her gopher before I even have time to pee. I rush to change her,
rush to clothe her, rush to feed her. By the time I’m finished with morning
mother duties, I’m late for work and barely have time to do those things for
myself.
It’s why I cherish Sunday mornings. It feels like the only day of the week I
get any sense of calm. When Emmy wakes up on Sundays, I always bring her
back to bed with me. We lie together and I listen to her babble and there’s
absolutely no rush to get up or be somewhere.
Sometimes, like right now, she falls back to sleep, and I just stare at her
for long stretches of time—marveling at the wonder that is motherhood.
I grab my phone and take a picture of her to text to Ryle, but I hesitate
before hitting send. I don’t miss Ryle at all, but it does make me sad in
moments like this that Ryle doesn’t get to do this with us, or that I don’t get
to share in the joys they have together. There’s nothing better than adoring
the child you made with the person you made them with, which is why I
always try to text him pictures and videos. But I’m still upset about last night
and don’t really feel like reaching out yet. I save the picture for a more
peaceful day.
Fucking Ryle.
Divorce is difficult. I knew it would be, but it’s so much harder than I
anticipated. And navigating divorce with a child in the mix is a million times
trickier. You’re stuck interacting with that person for the remainder of your