It Starts with Us by Colleen Hoover

depressed. I don’t know why you can’t look at motherhood like the gift that it
is, but you’re here. You showed up tonight, and that effort is worth a thankyou.”
She looks down at the table, and it’s a completely unexpected reaction
when her shoulders begin to shake, but she fights back the tears with all that
she is. She brings her hands up to the table and fidgets with her napkin, but
never has to use it because she doesn’t allow a single tear to fall.
I don’t know what she went through that made her so hard. So unwilling
to be vulnerable. Maybe one of these days she’ll share that with me, but she
has a lot to prove as a mother to Josh before she and I will ever get to that
point.
She pulls her shoulders back, sitting up straighter. “What time will the
dinner be on Tuesdays?”
“Seven.”
She nods and looks like she’s about to scoot out of the booth.
“I can get you a to-go box if you want to take it with you.”
She nods quickly. “I’d like that. It’s always been my favorite dish.”
“I know. I remember Cape Cod.” I take her plate to the kitchen and
prepare it to go.
Josh is asleep on the couch when I finally make it back home. Anime is
playing on the television, so I hit pause and set the remote on the coffee table.
I watch him sleep for a little while, overcome with relief after the day I’ve
had. Things could have gone a lot differently. I press my lips together,
choking back the emotional exhaustion as I watch him sleep in peace. I
realize as I’m staring at him that I’m looking at him the same way Lily looks
at Emerson, like she’s so full of pride.
I pull the blanket off the back of the couch and drape it over him, then I
walk to the table where Josh’s homework is laid out. Everything is
completed, even the family tree assignment.
He drew a tiny seedling sprouting from the ground with two small
branches. One says Josh and one says Atlas.