It Starts with Us by Colleen Hoover

“Hopefully.” I do hope things between Ryle and I continue to get easier,
but I’m no longer letting his reactions control my happiness. I’m all-in with
Atlas, and I want to be present in that part of my life. If that makes Ryle upset
or uncomfortable, Ryle is going to have to bear the burden of those feelings.
“I might ask Allysa to have a sit-down with me and Ryle this week. I want to
discuss what happened, and what to do going forward, but I don’t want to
discuss it with him alone.”
“That’s smart.”
Ryle and I may never get to a point where we can be more than merely
civil. But I’d be okay with civil. What I’m not okay with are the insults, the
threatening texts, the outbursts. He’s got a lot of work to do, and I’m finally
willing to hold him to task.
I probably should have been firmer earlier on, but I’ve been trying to make
it work in the least dramatic way possible. But I’m done bending my own life
for Ryle’s sake.
My loyalty is to the people who bring positivity into my life. My loyalty is
to the people who want to build me up and see me happy. Those are the
people I’m going to make decisions about my life for.
I’m going to continue doing the best I can, and that’s all I can do. I may
not have made all the right decisions in the right time frames, but the fact that
I found the courage to make those decisions at all is what I’m going to keep
focusing on.
Atlas slips a finger beneath my chin, tilting my head back so that I’m
looking at him. He’s got this look on his face like he’s right where he wants
to be. “I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed this,” he says. He pulls me
closer, sliding me up his chest so that I’m eye to eye with him. He caresses
the side of my head. “I wish I could have you in my bed like this every night.
I want to shower with you and cook with you and watch TV with you and go
grocery shopping with you. I want everything with you. I hate that we have to
pretend like we don’t already know we’re spending the rest of our lives
together.”
It’s incredible how fast a heart rate can double. I slide my fingers over his
lips. “We aren’t pretending. We are going to spend the rest of our lives
together.”
“How long do we have to wait until we start?”
“From the looks of it, we’ve already started,” I say.
“How long do I have to wait before I ask you to move in with me?”