It Starts with Us by Colleen Hoover

when Tim left. It used to bother me, not knowing my father. I used to worry
about him. I imagined there was something awful that was keeping him
away, like he was locked up in a prison somewhere on a wrongful conviction.
I used to come up with these wild scenarios that would excuse how he could
know I existed but not be in my life. Because what kind of man could have a
son and not want to know him?”
Josh is still staring across the yard at Tim, but I can see that he’s soaking
up every word I’m saying.
“My father never sent a penny of child support. He never made an effort at
all. My father never bothered to do a Google search, because if he had, he
would have easily found me. Hell, you did that at the age of twelve. You
found me, and you’re a kid. He’s a grown-ass adult.”
I move so that I have Josh’s full attention. “So is Tim. He is a capable,
grown man, and if he cared about anything more than himself, he would have
made an effort. He knows your name, he knows what city you live in, he
knows how old you are.”
Josh’s eyes are starting to tear up.
“It blows my mind that this man has you for a son, and you want to be in
his life, yet he still hasn’t made an effort. You’re a privilege, Josh. Believe
me, if I’d known you existed, I would have knocked over buildings to find
you.”
As soon as I say that, a tear trickles out of his eye, so Josh quickly looks
out his passenger window, away from Tim’s house, away from me. I see him
wipe at his eyes, and it breaks my heart.
It also makes me angry as hell that they kept him from me knowingly. My
mother knew I would have been a good brother to him, which is why she
chose not to let us be a part of each other’s lives. She knew my love for him
would outweigh the love she was capable of, so she selfishly kept us apart.
But I don’t want my anger for my mother or Tim or even my father to
bleed into Josh’s decision. He’s old enough to make up his own mind, so he
can take my honesty and his hope, and I’ll support him in whatever he
decides to do with those things.
When Josh finally looks back at me, his eyes are still filled with tears and
questions and indecision. He’s looking at me like I need to be the one to
make this decision for him.
I just shake my head. “They took twelve years from us, Josh. I don’t think
I can forgive them for that, but I won’t be upset if you do want to forgive