Focus on the Family Magazine - April/May 2023

KIDS & TEENS / ADVOCACY
It wasn’t easy, but in time I began to build bridges in these
relationships. Since then, it’s been the most amazing thing
to see moms getting their kids back. I feel like I’ve gained
extended families through it all.
Embracing the challenges
It’s a joy and a challenge being a single foster dad. Challenges
come with not having another adult in the home to help process
what I see and hear from the children, or someone to stay
with the kids while I run to the store for milk and eggs. I’m the
sole chauffeur to school and appointments, the sole chef and
the sole caregiver and counselor.
But would I change a thing? Absolutely not. It hasn’t been
easy, but it was the best decision of my life. I can’t wait to foster
more children, and I hope to adopt again. •
Peter Mutabazi is an international advocate for children and the founder of
Now I Am Known Foundation, an organization that supplies resources to
encourage children and support teens aging out of foster care. His book by
the same name, Now I Am Known, was released last year.
NOW I AM KNOWN
by Peter Mutabazi with Mark Tabb
Find out more about Peter Mutabazi’s
true story of survival, redemption and
transformation.
Shop.<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca
ESTABLISH A
SUPPORT SYSTEM.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH
LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE.
Fostering
Tips
As my kids dealt with their trauma,
I needed to deal with my own.
Make sure you have a system of
friends, family and mental health
and physical health professionals in
place to support you.
Other foster parents truly understand
your calling and can recognize trauma
behaviors—but many other people can’t.
Surround yourself with those who understand
you and what your foster children
are facing.
Foster parents can’t be entirely
prepared for the journey they
have undertaken. But here’s what
I’ve learned along the way:
ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
Children may not respond as you
did as a child, or even the way
other kids from the same home
do. For example, while you may
have been trained to express gratitude,
these children may have no
idea what gratitude is. Realize that
all children are different, and adjust
your expectations accordingly.
PREPARE YOUR MIND AND HEART
FOR THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW
YOU AND DON’T SUPPORT YOUR
DECISION TO BE A FOSTER PARENT.
The police have been called on me seven
times because I’m a black man who has
white and black children with me. I’ve
endured harsh comments in person and
on social media. I’ve learned how to
respond to doubters, the ignorant and the
obnoxious, as well as those who truly want
to learn more. Be ready for all of it.
—PM
CREDIT TK
44
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
APRIL / MAY 2023