May 2023 issue

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26 WHAT HAVE I LEARNED AS AN ELDER? by Susan Jackson Writers’ Club I have learned that the relationship with your children changes. There is a final letting go of the feeling that you must direct or advise them on how they live their life. When you are in your sixties, you are still working, balancing all the balls in your life, and helping children, grown up as they are, to ease into their lives as workers and often as parents trying to find their way through some of the minefields of life. When you retire, and have more time, you may find yourself fully in charge of daycare for their offspring. Why not? You are healthy and available. But as time passes, their lives become more formed, and suddenly, they somehow become your middle-aged children, fully in charge of their own lives. The roles have switched while you weren’t watching. You are no longer a caregiver, which has been a main role in your life. They are the caregivers now, of their own families, and you are freed of that weight on your shoulders. You may still listen to their issues, but they are not yours to solve. They know how to find their own solutions. There aren’t as many occasions where you actually get together with them. They are very busy with their own lives, and phone calls are often the only contact. This pattern has become more reinforced by the last two years of living with the COVID epidemic. Elders, and those with underlying health issues, were most at risk of serious complications from the virus. Their best protection was to live in isolation. That meant that phone calls became the norm. Family and friends were unable to congregate. The best thing they could do to protect their older friends and family was to simply stay away from them. At the same time, we have lost friends to death in the natural course of events. I knew from textbooks that elders are more likely to bear loneliness, but it is a different thing to experience it. Friends from childhood have died, friends from middle age have died, your parents and the elders of your extended family have left this Earth, and often, your partner has died. Your circle grows ever smaller. There is a continual need to make new friends to have someone share the dilemmas of diminished health, and some of the roadblocks in the ability for independent living. I have learned that you must reach out for other things that give meaning to your life. If you have hobbies, you have more time to invest in their enjoyment. Sometimes your pastimes have to be adjusted. For instance, I had a good friend who loved to go for long morning walks. Then he had health issues and long walks were no longer feasible. He took up fishing again. The Sentinel - May 2023 — Vol. 47, No. 9 If it is company that you crave, you join groups of likeminded people. This could require some effort, and expense. Sometimes it involves spending money on programs, and the limitations of your pension have to be considered. Where do we find these groups? People used to belong to religious groups where there were always social activities going on. This is no longer true in the majority of our lives. StatsCan census of 2019 says 53% of Canadians have no participation in a religious group. When they break it down by ages, people aged 64 to 83, the elders of our society, are churchgoers in 85% of that age group. When we look at our younger population, with ages from 24 to 43, churchgoers are down to 32% of the population. That information bears out in my three children. I believe they could count on their right hand the number of times they visited a church. I doubt my grandchildren have ever been in a church. They might ask, “what is religion”? History books may soon have to explain it to them. Loneliness and isolation are key issues for elders, and presumably they will increase as religious affiliations decrease across the land. Connection is an antidote. So where do we look for community? We are lucky to have a seniors centre in Guelph. Hats off to the core group that worked on its inception. I would like to know who led the way. Honestly, I feel like this is a blurb for 10 good reasons to join the seniors centre, but in my view, it is the best we have going for us at the moment. There are such a variety of programs. I see people coming out of a morning workout in the gym, still limber and fit, while at the other end of the hall, I see a group of quieter, white-haired ladies bent over their quilting project, and enjoying their time together. People have lunch together, play cards together, meet at the book club, go to the evening dances, laugh and sing together. This is what staves off loneliness. My daughter lives three hours north of Guelph by car, and she recently asked me to consider moving closer to her. The first thing I did was to see if there was a community centre in her nearby city. There was not. What quality of life could I envisage, stuck in a new environment with nowhere to meet new friends and join in activities. I told her it looked bleak. I would have been nearer to her, but not happier. I will stay in Guelph. We have our own daily paths to lead, much as we love each other, and are there for each other. This is what I learned.
27 $25.00 discount coupon with this ad Please call 519-821-6683 COMPUTER MENTORING BALL - COME OUT AND PLAY SLOPITCH Men and Ladies 55+ are invited to Play in a Co-ed SloPitch League Just about everyone with a computer runs into problems. Don’t struggle when there is help available at these weekly mentoring sessions. Volunteers from the GWSA Computer Club are available to assist you with your specific problem areas. All computer mentoring sessions are held on Monday afternoons from 1-3 pm Class length: 2 hours Cost: $3.00 for Members and $5.00 for Non-Members. Participants pay in advance at the front desk or register using RecEnroll.ca. If you are 55 or older or turning 55 in this year, come out and join us!! Our games will be Wednesday evenings , 6:30 - 8:30pm, at Hugh C. Guthrie Park, 117 Forest St, Guelph, First Game: Wednesday, May 3 rd , and continues to September 27th. Get your GWSA membership and register in person at the Evergreen Seniors Community Centre, West End Community Centre, or go to recenroll.ca. Look for Senior activities, then go to GWSAball. Meet and Greet was Wed., April 19 th , at 6:30 pm Evergreen. Please call Deborah at 226-606-8476 to meet or email dwaitson54@gmail.com for further details and practice times. The Sentinel - May 2023
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Page 17 and 18: 17 SPECIAL BIRTHDAYS OF NOTE “Our
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Page 33 and 34: 33 EVERGREEN MARKET ‘For Sale’
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May 2023 issue

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