Welcome to The Club v4.1 Winter 2023/24

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Find these words hidden vertically, horizontally, diagonally and backwards.
I sported a brush cut all the way up to
grade 10.
The
Then, I discovered Craig Stevens.
He was an American film and
Retirement
television actor, best known for his
Coach © by Mike Keenan starring role on television as private
http://theretirementcoach.libsyn.com/ detective “Peter Gunn” from 1958
to 1961. He was my new hero, and I
copied his low-cropped hair style. Gunn
was a suave, well-dressed investigator
National
whose hair was always in place and
who loved cool jazz, sophisticated with
Hair Day
expensive tastes. The show’s use of
My guess is that you completely forgot modern jazz music was a distinctive
Listen to Mike’s podcasts (humour, travel and poetry) at: The Retirement Coach:
to http://theretirementcoach.libsyn.com/ celebrate one of the year’s His book, most ‘Don’t Ever touch Quit - that a Journal helped of Coping set the standard for
important with Crisis & days, Nourishing “National Spirit,’ is available Hair Day,” in print & electronic many years format at to Amazon: come. The music was
scheduled https://amzn.to/2KBdPWQ on October 1. This is the composed by Henry Mancini, one of
one day set aside during the entire year the greatest composers in the history
to honour styles, products, tools, and of film. He won four Academy Awards,
people who keep our hair healthy and a Golden Globe, and 20 Grammy
looking its very best.
Awards, plus a posthumous Grammy
Some my age may wonder, “What’s Lifetime Achievement Award in 1995.
left to celebrate?” After all, hair today, He composed the music for “The Pink
gone tomorrow for many senior males, Panther” film series and “Moon River”
and might I add, it’s getting thinner for from “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”
the ladies too.
If you are wondering, basically, there
When I was a young lad, my father are four hair types. Most of us fit into
took me for my first haircut, and the local straight, wavy, curly or kinky types.
barber had to prop me up on a board so Each can be broken down further based
as to be able to work on top. The only on the type of curl, texture, and other
hair cut style suitable for boys in those characteristics. Of course, movie star Yul
days was the brush cut adopted by most Brenner, challenged all of that by being
NHL hockey players, our idols. Thus, bald in “The King and I.” And don’t forget
Telly Savalas who portrayed “Lieutenant
Theo Kojak” on the crime drama series
“Kojak” (1973–1978) and James Bond
arch-villain “Ernst Stavro Blofeld” in the
film “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.”
Film and TV shows have produced
myriad hair styles. Princess Leia’s hair
in the “Star Wars” films exhibited many
transformations. However, her curled
side buns tend to be most memorable
as was the flirtatious curl in Christopher
Reeves’ “Superman.” John Travolta in
“Grease” fit the 1950s rebel style when
Brylcreem ruled the day. And who can
forget Marge Simpson’s blue beehive,
which also served as the ultimate storage
system?
I enjoy old-fashioned barber shops
littered with hair on the inevitable black
and white tiled floor, sports pictures fixed
on the mirrors, pennants hanging on
the walls, and those plush black leather
chairs surrounded by glistening chrome.
Nowadays younger types tend to opt
for all sorts of patterns cut into their hair,
some imitating the logos of their favourite
athletic team. As for the athletes, it
appears that either some have way too
much money to play with or that they
are bored with looking normal. In this
regard, baseball players tend to lead the
way, some employing multiple colours
to spice up their hair along with strange
attachments. Raimel Tapia with the
Toronto Blue Jays appears to be wearing
spaghetti in his hair—long, thick, white
strands of spaghetti. I fear for his safety
if he gets caught in the outfield during a
windstorm.
I have always wanted to own a
barbershop, with one of those rotating
red, white and blue poles outside to
lure customers inside. In a barbershop,
patrons tend to let their guard down. If
you want to know what’s happening in
the world, you take a taxi or get a haircut.
All sorts of secret stuff is revealed. I don’t
know why, but it just happens. Politicians
waste a lot of money on expensive polls
when all they need is a haircut.
After extensive research, I have
invented the perfect name for my
barbershop. No, it’s not “Mike’s.” That’s
too mundane. We need something
compelling and appealing. It’s going to
be named—drum roll please, “The Fickle
Follicle.” The alliteration alone will draw
in hordes, particularly poets. I will let you
know how it goes.
Listen to Mike’s podcasts (humour, travel
and poetry) at: The Retirement Coach:
http://theretirementcoach.libsyn.com/
His book, ‘Don’t Ever Quit—a Journal
of Coping with Crisis & Nourishing Spirit,’
is available in print & electronic format at
Amazon: https://amzn.to/2KBdPWQ
P A G E
16
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
WINTER 23/24