The Good Life – January-February 2024

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Strange Things You Believed As A Child WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR Deep within the confines of my mind, odd beliefs I held as a wee bairn occasionally resurface. Many memories are kept deep within the recesses of our brains until something, out of nowhere, brings them to the forefront and sheds light on these vivid recollections. Take, for example, the following thoughts many of us had as children. I’ll start with a few of my own misconceptions. Step on a crack and you’ll ruin your mother’s mobility Throughout history, people have been known to hold superstitious fears and beliefs. Take, for example, the following children’s rhyme: “Step on a crack and you’ll break your mother’s back…” How many of us poor urchins were told by our parents that this rhyme was merely a fable, only to continue the superstition? How many of us nervously avoided cracks on the sidewalk so as not to break our mothers’ backs? And how many of us felt pits in our stomachs after stepping on cracked concrete!? In an attempt to combat this superstition, obsession and fear, I would often force myself to purposely step on the cracks to prove ye olde rhyme held no real, serious consequences. However, the fear that my efforts would ruin my mother’s mobility could still be seen betwixt my furrowed brows. Indeed, I’ll admit that in especially anxious phases, the torturesome second-guessing will come back to me for a moment. My mom still hasn’t broken her back, by the way (knock on wood and pray to the Lord), but her sciatica is a doozy. Could it be my fault?! Choose your stuffed animals wisely Thus far in life, I may only be an aunt, but one thing is certain about child-raising: Don’t come between a child and their favorite stuffed animals. As inanimate as they were, throughout elementary school, if my stuffed animals fell off my bed, I was worried they would think I didn’t care about them. I also had to tuck them in and kiss them goodnight. I also had to make sure I rotated which stuffed animals I featured on my bed for fear one of them would feel unloved. I refused to be like a mother playing obvious favorites. I also worried that the rapture would happen and Jesus would only allow me to bring as many stuffed animals as I could carry in my arms. I often anxiously pondered on which animals I would be able to save. Who knew the love of stuffed animals could cause such despair? Turns out, the anxiety doesn’t fall far from the tree because my mom did the same thing with her dolls as 12 | THE GOOD LIFE
a youngster. She barely had any room for herself on the bed because of her doll lineup. What you believed as a child Since every child has irrational beliefs, I had to ask what yours were. Here are a few of the answers I received. The quotes are from real people, but their identities will remain anonymous. Premature pregnancy fears “My mom said babies came from people who loved each other very much, so I was scared if I loved someone too much they were going to get pregnant.” Whistle while you eat “My parents told me at a very young age that if I ate the crust of my bread/sandwich I’d be able to whistle better. I hated the crust, but, apparently, I really wanted to whistle because it worked and I eat my crust to this day. I believed the crust/whistle correlation was real until longer than I’m comfortable admitting to.” The wind FROM the willows “This was more of a misunderstanding that my husband had, but I think it is hilarious. He thought trees MADE the wind because whenever the trees were moving, it was windy.” Double-sided TV “I was on my best behavior for Sesame Street; I thought they could see me through the screen.” Bad guys drive tall vans “I thought power lines were there to clothesline the tall vans of bad guys (because bad guys always drove tall vans).” Baa-ram-ewe, sheep be true “There used to be that sheep farm on Highway 59 going towards Detroit Lakes, and I never saw the sheep moving/walking, so I thought the farmer just had fake sheep and moved his sheep statues around for fun sometimes. It wasn’t until I was in late high school or college that I finally saw a sheep walking and realized how dumb I really was.” Tag, you’re guilty “I thought I would be arrested for tearing the tag off of my pillow.” Release Mama Duck, please “I thought that the song ‘Feliz Navidad’ was called ‘Release Mama Duck.’ I was so confused. I could not figure out why it was a Christmas song.” What were some of the strange beliefs you had as a child? Let us know by tagging us on Facebook or Instagram @urbantoadmedia. • urbantoadmedia.com | 13
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Page 8 and 9: HAVING A BEER WITH | SKYLER DUTTON
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