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So, I was at this sushi night organized by a yacht
chef who had recently found himself unemployed
and, as such, had nothing else to do to
pass the time other than organize sushi nights
at his friend’s bar in an attempt to stop himself from
partying it up every night. All chopsticked up, I was
attempting to dip my sashimi into a delicious wasabi-laced
soy sauce without dropping it and splashing
myself all over. Again. Anyway, attempt failed, I was
dabbing at the fresh brown splats on my sleeve when
my friend, another yacht chef, sauntered over to fish
for work.
“You missed a bit,” he said, looking at me oddly.
“Where?” I asked, looking at my other sleeve.
“On your nose,” he replied, smirking.
I wiped at it. “Gone?” I asked.
“No. Here, it’s a bit dried on...” he said, leaning over to
do that lick-hanky-and-wipe-face thing that a toddler’s
mum would be proud of.
The distinct possibility that I’d been talking to the captain
of a freshly pulled up 65-meter for the past 15 minutes
with congealed soy and wasabi on my face, giving
me the appearance of fungus the bogey man, suddenly
dawned on me. Brilliant.
Anyway, a conversation ensued whereby said yacht chef
proceeded to verbally dissect the sushi, pulling out its
strengths, but more than that, focusing on its weaknesses.
He took great pleasure in having a captive audience
(I couldn’t move; I had him on one side and a whole tray
of California rolls calling my name on the other) and explained
how he prepared his own sushi and, of course,
how it was much better.
I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow when the yacht
chef who’d prepared the food came over. The dialogue
that followed was, I realized, when unable to get a
word in edgeways for 10 minutes, not unlike the manner
in which two rutting stags circle each other, prancing
around, attempting to look mean and scary whilst
showing off their antlers for the ladies looking on. OK,
in this case it was just a few old sorts hanging off bar
stools with half empty martini glasses who’d heard
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