TWIST E R - Studievereniging TWIST

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Alain Corbeau
Taalkronkels: Anguished English
Onlangs kwam ik het boekje Anguished English tegen; een verzameling van Engelse
taalkronkels door de Amerikaan Richard Lederer, Ph.D. en docent Engels. Hij heeft
jarenlang allerlei vreemde, domme, dubbelzinnige, genante en gewoonweg grappige
taal- en stijlfouten verzameld uit allerhande bronnen: advertenties, krantenartikelen,
transcripties van rechtszaken, proefwerken van leerlingen, te-laatbriefjes van hun ouders
en borden langs de weg en hij heeft deze vervolgens gebundeld in dit boekje. Dit
wil ik de leden van TWIST niet onthouden, dus heb ik een selectie gemaakt om hier
te presenteren:
A passive verb is when the subject is the sufferer, as in “I am loved”.
A virgin forest is a place where the hand of man has never set foot.
When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.
Please excuse Fred for being absent. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
Question: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
Answer: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
Q: Who did she say she was?
A: She said she was the owner of the dog’s wife.
Q: And lastly, Gary [a child], all your responses must be oral. OK?
A: Oral.
Q: How old are you?
A: Oral.
I had been driving for about 40 years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had
an accident.
My car sustained no damage whatsoever, and the other car somewhat less.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. White to come forward and lay an
egg on the altar.
Wanted: unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
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