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FAKE<br />
NEWS<br />
Satirikum<br />
TEKST: VEGARD MØLLER<br />
FOTO: CREATIVE COMMONS<br />
SIA STARTER NY PODCAST<br />
Vi møter styreleder Jacob Haugmoen Handegaard<br />
og Administrerende direktør Pål Harv under<br />
innspilling av deres nye podcast «InnSiA».<br />
- Jacob gikk til valg på mer åpenhet, så nå sitter vi<br />
her, hehe, sier Harv med et lurt smil og fortsetter.<br />
- Vi prøvde mange SiA ordspill før vi falt på det<br />
endelig navnet. NettSiA, ÅpenhetsiniSiAtivet, SiAlt<br />
og «Når sant skal SiAs». Du kjenner oss. vi gir oss<br />
aldri før vi har kommet frem til et solid ordspill.<br />
De begynner å diskutere økonomi. Folk har<br />
mange spørsmål, sier Harv og fortsetter:<br />
- Hva bruker dere pengene våre på? spør<br />
ofte studentene. For øyeblikket bruker jeg de<br />
mest på å pusse opp hytta. Du da, Jacob?<br />
Handegaard presiserer for Harv at det<br />
studentene lurer på er hva slags tjenester<br />
de får tilbake for semesteravgiften.<br />
- Ahhh, svarer Harv. For øyeblikket bruker<br />
vi pengene deres til å utvikle nye tjenester<br />
vi kan selge dere for å igjen finansiere<br />
nye tjenester vi kan selge dere.<br />
something completely out of everyone’s control,<br />
and Simba just got extremely lucky. Or they are<br />
just lying to argue in favour of rule by divine right.<br />
That it started to rain the literal minute Simba<br />
ascended his throne was awfully convenient.<br />
And yes, Scar is somewhat easily angered and<br />
triggered by disrespect. But did you know that<br />
his real name is Taka, which translates from<br />
Swahili to English as “Waste”? I think you too<br />
would have some issues if your parents named<br />
you “Trash” and your brother “King”.<br />
Scar is the Better King<br />
One thing even the propagandist movie seem<br />
to agree with is that Mufasa got the brawn (and<br />
splendour), and Scar got the brains. Yes, you<br />
do need charisma in order to be a leader, he<br />
does not seem to lack in that area, as Scar basically<br />
got himself elected as the leader of the<br />
hyenas. Now a leader with brains and a talent<br />
for international diplomacy? Yes please. Who<br />
cares if Mufasa looks better in the crown.<br />
Remember how both Mufasa/Simba and Scar are<br />
fascists? Well, Scar is the better fascist ! (please<br />
don’t quote me on that) While both are aristocrats<br />
and lion-supremacists, Scar does not have<br />
the same policy of ethnic cleansing of hyenas as<br />
Mufasa/Simba. Why are hyenas excluded from<br />
the Pride Lands, exactly? Something about how<br />
filthy and evil they are, which smacks heavily of<br />
speciesist propaganda. Hyenas are carnivores too,<br />
yes, but unlike lions, at least they have a scavenger<br />
streak and do not necessarily kill to eat.<br />
Scar’s policy of hyena integration is more inclusive,<br />
and I would argue that the way he was close<br />
to establishing somewhat of a proto constitutional<br />
monarchy in the way he attained the throne only<br />
after the hyenas elected him as their leader.<br />
WRITTEN BY EMIL OLAI<br />
NOVEMBER2 019 UNIKUM NR 9 39
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