Find Freedom From What Does Not Serve You AT FORTY FIVE Magazine Issue 2101 06

S E P T E M B E R | I S S U E N O . 2 1 0 1 0 6 

AT FORTY FIVE 

The Magazine For Women 45+ 

Y A N A S C H N I T Z L E R : 

C R E A T I N G P E R F O R M A N C E A R T 

When We Care 

Too Much 

It Hurts 

Yana Schnitzler: 

Creating 

Performance Art 

Dear Ms Mostly 

Retirement: Is It The 

End Of The Line?

C O N T R I B U T O R S 

04 

Sherry Kallergis 

Editor 

AT FORTY FIVE 

19 

APRIL ROSE MORE 

APRIL ROSE MORE 

PHOTOGRAPH 

07 

sue dumais 

heart led living 

20 

dear ms mostly 

12cover 

yana schnitzler 

Human kinetics 

22 

michelle segoly 

cyber unit

E D I T O R ' S N O T E S 

 

 

Why is it such a struggle to be ourselves? To live our life on 

our own terms? 

We should be able to live large and in charge with a sense of 

pride but often we are beset by anxiousness. Should we, 

could we, do I have it right, what will others think? 

In this issue, we are exploring perspectives, learning to let 

go of what is in our way, real or imagined. 

Included is a wonderful opportunity to join an art project 

with women from around the world who are intent on 

releasing that which no longer serves them. 

I hope you find your freedom. 

Live well. 

 

SHERRY KALLERGIS 

 

I D O N ' T W A N T T O B E A T T H E M E R C Y O F M Y E M O T I O N S . I W A N T T O U S E T H E M , T O 

E N J O Y T H E M , A N D T O D O M I N A T E T H E M . ” ~ O S C A R W I L D E

C O N T E N T S 

04 

editor's notes 

07 

when we care too 

much it hurts 

12 

yana schnitzler: 

creating 

performance art 

19 

aura of woman 

20 

dear ms mostly, 

retirement is it the 

end of the line? 

22 

5 Ways You Can 

Improve Security On 

Your Mobile Devices

WHEN WE CARE TOO 

MUCH IT HURTS 

/ BY SUE DUMAIS 

Caring too much can be more harmful than helpful. The idea that we should be caring and 

compassionate individuals is not a new concept. We are taught at a very young age to care about 

others but the problem is that there is more importance placed on caring about what others think, 

do, and have. We are often programmed to care more about other people’s lives and their opinions 

than our own lives and opinions. 

“What will the neighbours think?” 

“Stop doing that—everyone is watching.” 

We learn to care so much that we are in constant judgment or fear of judgment, judging whether 

others are good or bad, rich or poor, kind or mean, healthy or unhealthy; judging whether they like 

us or not and whether they approve of what we are doing or not doing. Caring more about others 

becomes a distraction from caring about ourselves and it also opens us up to deep hurt and more 

harm than good. 

When I was knee-deep into the fitness and wellness industry, I was a sponge for knowledge. I was 

constantly taking courses, reading books, and studying research. Finding out how the body works 

and what makes it tick consumed me. I was addicted to health and sharing that message with 

others. It fed my childhood desire to save the world. In truth, it wasn’t just a strong desire—it 

became my responsibility. In other words, I made it my mission, my responsibility. It was on my 

shoulders to save the world and everyone in it, including the animals. Just a small burden to bear! 

When people were interested in what I had to teach them, it was easy, fulfilling, and I felt a deep 

sense of purpose and impact. But my desire to save the world wasn’t just for those who were 

interested or ready to be saved. I wanted to help EVERYONE whether they wanted help or not. What 

I thought was if I could just teach them what I knew they would see how important it was and they

AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /07 

would make the changes they needed to make 

to become healthy. I would give advice when it 

wasn’t welcome or I would invest much time 

and energy in trying to make others see the 

truth. I wanted them to “get it” so badly it 

consumed me. My love for them was fierce and 

I would stop at nothing. 

responsible for keeping them healthy and safe. 

At the same time, I felt out of control because I 

couldn’t control everything they put in their 

mouths and their resistance to eating my way 

was strong. They ate mostly healthfully, but my 

fear-filled mind had me convinced it wasn’t 

healthy enough. 

I cared so much that if they didn’t change, I felt 

responsible. Then I cared so much that I 

became attached to whether they changed or 

not. I cared so much that I became attached to 

them taking the information and doing 

something with it. Then I cared so much that I 

became anxious and I worried about others 

constantly. I cared so much that I alienated 

some people in my life because I just wanted so 

badly for them to be healthy, happy, and live a 

long life. 

When they didn’t “get it” or I wasn’t able to help 

them, I was devastated and carried them with 

me as one of my failures. After all, I had failed to 

help them. I had failed to help them see, to 

change their mind. Then I started to realize that 

caring too much was a heavy burden full of 

disappointment and suffering. 

Shortly after I healed from cancer, I became 

obsessively worried about my family’s health. I 

was eating mostly organic super clean food 

with no sugar, no wheat, no gluten, and no 

dairy; I was green juicing every day. After 

receiving a diagnosis of a genetic liver disorder, 

I was more aware of what I put in my mouth 

and how it would affect my health. 

My worry started to grow exponentially when I 

would compare how I was eating to how my 

husband and kids were eating. They had 

already said my diet was too extreme for them, 

but my fear kept growing and I felt heavy and 

One morning in meditation I started to feel a 

huge layer of fear rising up around the health of 

my husband. He was stressed at work, he had 

gained some weight, and I kept being pointed 

to his heart. I felt this huge mountain of 

responsibility for keeping him healthy. I had a 

painful vision of him dying, and of me standing 

over his grave with a “guilty” sign strung 

around my neck. Tears streamed down my 

cheeks as though a faucet were pouring 

uncontrollably. I felt responsible for his health 

and I believed that if he died it would be all my 

fault. I would be responsible for his death 

because I hadn’t been able to convince him to 

change his ways. The burden was unbearable 

and it cracked my heart open. 

I felt out of control because I couldn’t control 

everything they put in their mouths and their 

resistance to eating my way was strong. 

My ego-mind had convinced me I was 

responsible for the health of my family because 

I bought the groceries. So if something would 

have happened to them, it would have been all 

my fault. Later that night, I shared my vision 

with my husband and told him the burden I 

was carrying. I explained how if he died it would 

be all my fault. His words were such a gift as 

they landed in a way that shifted everything for 

me. He said, “You are not responsible for me or 

anyone else’s health. My health choices are my 

health choices, not yours.”


I suddenly saw an opening in my mind and the 

terrifying grip of fear let go; a huge sense of 

relief washed over me. I couldn’t force them to 

eat a certain way. Trust me—I had tried and it 

hadn’t worked. Forcing them is not 

empowering them. It is not up to me; it is up to 

them. They must make the choice for 

themselves. 

I felt a freedom I never felt before. It was as 

though I let go of a lifetime of attachment to 

the choices others make or don’t make. It is not 

up to me. I can empower them with knowledge 

but ultimately they need to feel empowered by 

making their own choices. I can show up and 

play my part but the rest is not up to me. It is 

like that old saying, “You can lead a horse to 

water, but you cannot make it drink.” 

In my life and in my home, I lead by example. I 

buy healthy foods and make healthy meals, but 

my family doesn’t need to eat a hundred 

percent healthy all the time unless they want 

to. By processing my fears, I let go of my 

attachments around their health and accept 

their choices. I have also slowly let go of my 

judgments about their choices and freed them 

to empower themselves. Still, I do make 

decisions for my son around food, only because 

he would eat sugar all day long if I let him. The 

difference is when I do say no or yes to certain 

foods, it is now coming from a place of love not 

paralyzing fear and control disguised as caring. 

We are programmed to care so much that we 

want to help, give advice, fix, change, and make 

right what we think is wrong in other people’s 

lives. The truth is that other people’s lives are 

none of our business, but we make them our 

business and that can come at a great sacrifice 

and much suffering. 

Let’s take a look at the news for a moment. Do 

you feel better or worse after watching, reading, 

or listening to the news? I believe CNN is short 

for “constant negative news.” We are 

bombarded with images and stories that build 

fear and make us feel guilty for what we have, 

bad for what we don’t, and even worse for 

others. When we care so much that we feel sick 

to our stomach or we develop chronic anxiety 

about everything that is going wrong in the 

world, we are not helping; we are causing more 

harm. We are causing more harm to our own 

well-being, but we are also adding more fear to 

an already fear-filled world. 

I used to believe that caring showed others that 

I loved them. People don’t need you to care in 

the form of worry. That is the same as sprinkling 

them with fear. People want to feel loved, and 

caring too much is not an expression of love: it 

is an expression of fear. So not only are we 

adding more fear to the pot, we are causing 

more suffering inside our own minds as we 

learn to chronically fret and worry about others. 

That is not loving to others or ourselves. 

The world doesn’t need more fear and neither 

do we. We need more authentic genuine 

expressions of love sprinkled with empathy and 

compassion. Empathy calls us to imagine how 

they must be feeling and loving them in spite 

of those feelings. It is about being present for 

them to express and share how they feel 

without our judging them or trying to fix them 

or change how they feel. Just loving them in 

that moment and holding space for them to 

feel fully so they can heal is enough. 

Instead, we are taught to sympathize by feeling 

sorry for others and their situations. People 

don’t need us to feel sorry for them and it only 

leaves us feeling bad at the same time. Meeting


them in fear with our own fear is not helpful. 

Meeting their fear with your unconditional love 

and being a compassionate witness allows 

them to feel heard, seen, and understood and 

at the same time allows us to hold the high 

note and stand strong in the energy of love. 

My responsibility is not to save the world 

anymore. I support those I am meant to 

support and free everyone else to live their life. 

Today, I do my best to see everyone through 

the lens of love. I honour where they are and 

accept that some are willing to heal and some 

are not. The difference from the way I used to 

be is I now see everyone as capable. I see 

everyone’s potential and I focus on that without 

attachment. 

I know that beyond their fear is all the love they 

could ever need or ever ask for. We all have 

access to that love. Some will turn toward the 

love and say YES and others will turn away from 

it and say no. I accept and honour them either 

way. I love them just the same. Now that 

doesn’t mean I devote my time and energy 

trying to help them all. I simply love them and I 

trust my heart to lead me. Either I will guide 

them or I won't. 

My responsibility is not to save the world 

anymore. I support those I am meant to 

support and free everyone else to live their life. 

I trust I will work with those I am meant to or 

they will find someone else. The pressure is off 

my shoulders because I took it off. The burden 

is no longer mine to carry because I put it 

down. I no longer care too much, but I have 

learned to love deeply without attachment and 

that has been the biggest gift I could have ever 

given myself and the world. 

Gift yourself or a friend a copy 

Stay tuned next week for chapter 2 ~ We Are 

More Connected Than We Are Separate 

Here you can read all chapters to date 

***This is an excerpt from Sue Dumais' book 

"Stand UP Stand OUT Stand STRONG ~ A 30 

Day Guide to Navigate Life When the SHIFT 

Hits the Fan" 

Published on atfortyfive.com with permission 

from © Sue Dumais 

If you have thoughts on the content send us a 

comment. 

Do you have expertise, knowledge, or a life 

experience to share? Visit the Contributor tab 

for more information.

Tales of a Phoenix: The Letting Go Project


Creating 

Schnitzler 

Yana 

Performance Art 

/BY SHERRY KALLERGIS 

Yana Schnitzler of Human Kinetics creates performance art. Her current participatory art project 

draws women together from around the world giving them a unique opportunity to heal. 

This performance art “Tales of a Phoenix: The Letting Go Project” offers you a role, allowing you 

to release that which is holding you back. We all have things in our life that hinder our personal 

growth. Sadly, it can be difficult to release its hold on us. I am so excited to participate and you 

can too. Learn more.

Tales of a Phoenix: The Letting Go Project 

Garment District Exhibition New York City 

Yana sewing fabric pieces 

together into the skirt 

Fitting the skirt on the 

mannequin Sally


The project began about one and a half ago. 

Yana made an initial call for women to 

participate through social media and online, 

inviting them to write down on a piece of fabric 

what was standing in their way. Then they 

mailed or scanned it and emailed it to her. She 

started receiving pieces from over 45 countries 

including Australia, Bangladesh, Pakistan, 

Uruguay, Russia. 

Now, she is sewing all the pieces into a roomfilling 

skirt and eventually wearing it in a 

performance. Finally, and symbolically, the skirt 

will be destroyed releasing the blockages. She 

shares her journey today. (The following is 

edited for flow) 

How Was The Response? 

The response has been so touching and 

beautiful. When I receive those personal and 

sometimes intimate pieces, I often cry, because 

I see myself. 

Earlier this year, I had a gallery run in 

Manhattan's garment district. I hung all the 

pieces on the walls, to begin with, like a 

traditional exhibition with a mannequin 

affectionately named Sally, in the center of the 

room wearing a plain white skirt spread out 

filling the room. 

Over the course of the seven weeks, those 

pieces on the walls slowly came down and 

were attached to form the fabric of the skirt. 

As it was a storefront, people could see the 

exhibition and were drawn in by curiosity. 

I also had a sandwich board out on the street 

encouraging participation. It was unbelievable 

how many came in, even men. Everyone 

wanted to read what was on the pieces. 

Some came in and just stood there crying 

because they felt the pain that was hanging 

on the walls. It was a very visceral experience. 

Many wanted to participate and share their 

story. That was unexpected, after all, it is New 

York, people are too cool and usually too busy. 

I think though the project was timely. It was 

February, with COVID behind us and everyone 

was more open, waking up. You would not 

believe how empty New York City had been, 

like a ghost town. 

I feel because of the past year, we were scared. 

COVID stirred us up and gave us an 

opportunity for reflection, to reconsider our 

values and what's important to us. And I think 

all that really came together in the response. 

Some days I didn't have a single minute to 

create and work on the skirt because so many 

were coming and responding to it. They didn’t 

expect to see things so personal and painful, 

like a piece that says, depression, or shame, or 

anxiety or patriarchal overloads. It caused 

many to stop in their tracks. 

There was a very different level of 

communication happening. Women were 

talking, feeling, and sharing. I was there to hold 

the space for them to have an experience, to 

share their stories, or declare for themselves 

what they wanted to let go of. 

What Did You Learn? 

We're so much alike regardless of where we 

are in the world. We are all facing similar 

things that create a bond, a sense of 

community. That very fact is empowering as 

well. 

There is magic in all the positive responses. It 

has been an incredible journey so far.

Tales of a Phoenix: The Letting Go Project 

Things Women Are Letting Go


As performance art goes, the project has its own 

rhythm, and it has grown. It is interesting 

because, at times, it did not go smoothly. At first, 

some days I wouldn't get pieces and I would 

think maybe the project is not what I should be 

doing, or it doesn't want to be born. Whenever I 

was close to giving it up, I got another piece. So, 

it was like dangling a carrot in front of me. 

Another example was when I was running out of 

fabric. Then my husband saw huge trash bags 

filled with fabric samples on the street in the 

garment district. The solution found me and 

added a tactile experience for women. Women 

could make more personal choices from a range 

of fabrics and colors. 

What Is Next? 

Originally, I wanted to create the skirt and then 

finish the project. The response was so powerful, 

so touching, and empowering that I felt it 

needed to be seen by as many as possible and 

many women should have the opportunity to 

participate. Pieces continue to come in and I 

am busy adding them to the skirt. There are 

multiple showings in the US and then it moves 

on to Germany. 

In the spring, I'm going to do a closing 

performance art show wearing the final skirt. By 

that time will be huge. As each piece is 

connected, the skirt figuratively collects 

women’s voices together so I am gathering 

those voices around me, and finally publicly 

destroying the skirt as a symbol of letting go. 

Can We Participate In This Performance 

Art? 

Yes, I am still accepting pieces. You can find the 

details here. 

Simply you take a piece of fabric you have. It 

could be meaningful like your favorite blouse or 

just an odd piece. Write what you want to let go 

of in whatever way you want; markers, pens, 

paint, even embroider or hand stitch. Then you 

mail it to me or scan and email it to me and I will 

print it on fabric. 

It can be a unique way of setting that intention 

for yourself. I encourage you to be creative. 

Get To Know Yana 

How did you get started in performance art? 

Growing up in communist East Germany, there 

wasn’t much room for individuality: You go to 

school, get a job, get married, have a family, and 

work your job until retirement. No room left or 

right. So, even though as a child I was always 

drawing and crafting, moving, and dancing, I 

never considered myself an artist. I was a people 

pleaser and thought I had to follow that ‘regular 

path’. However, in trying so I got into real trouble 

- with myself. Depression and overall 

unhappiness eventually led me to quit my job in 

the film business, which was a starting point of 

my journey. 

My journey is one of a “split personality” so to 

speak. I’ve always had two contradictory sides in 

me: a people pleaser on one side to fill that inner 

void and a quiet rebel against everything 

mainstream on the other. However, the more I 

am becoming who I am, the more I learn to be 

myself and do the things that I feel I’m here for 

the more these two sides are fading away. 

What has been the most rewarding aspect of 

your journey? 

The most rewarding aspect of my journey is that 

I feel like I keep growing, as an artist and as a 

person. I’m learning more about myself, who I 

am, and what I “really” care about. And in this 

process, I feel I’m becoming more whole. 

What has been an unexpected barrier and 

how did you overcome it? 

When you move to another country, as I did 

twenty years ago, you find all this new freedom. 

That’s what you left your home country for. 

You’re able to re-invent yourself, and you go for it. 

Only to realize at some point, that you carry that 

same cultural conditioning that you had left in 

the first place within yourself and that this is 

what holds

you back on a deeper level. 

Learn More 

What is your key strength? 

Focus and perseverance. I’m also quite 

organized. 

If you could meet anyone for lunch, who 

would it be? 

I have a long list but to pick a few: 

Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, former President of 

Liberia, for her incredible courage, 

determination, and foresight 

My paternal grandmother, for her love and to 

learn about her life 

Louise Bourgeous, for insights about her 

work and artmaking process 

Website is humankinetics.org 

How to participate 

Follow on social media: 

Facebook Yana Schnitzler Human Kinetics 

Instagram yanaschnitzlerhumankinetics 

If you love art, check out our Women In Art series 

 

What is the best advice you ever received? 

I find the best - and the hardest! - advice is: 

“Trust yourself.” We live in a culture that 

overemphasizes a rational view of things. The 

mind that reasons and has explanations while 

our gut feeling says the opposite but cannot 

“prove” its point. That’s why it’s such a challenge 

as we have to trust. Trust that kind of deeper 

sense of knowing. 

What do you need to make more room in 

your life for? 

More fun stuff, such as random handstands at 

the beach. I used to love to do them as a kid, and 

though they’ve gotten bad I still enjoy doing 

them. Or ice skating in the winter. 

If you could learn anything new, what 

would it be? 

I’d like to learn to weave. There’s something 

about working with physical material that I find 

very satisfying, that tactile experience of it. I 

would also love to learn trapeze or kiteboarding.


AURA OF WOMAN 

Neeta is our Aura of Woman Imagery this week. 

This series from April Rose More Photography celebrates 

women who embrace their unique Aura of Woman and share it with the world. 

 

View the complete series


Ms. Mostly mostly knows it all 

and if not, she is on the hunt to 

find the answer for you. 

Retirement: Is It 

The End Of The Line? 


Well, here I am riding the rails to retirement at 

what seems like 200 miles an hour. I am worried 

about what is at the end of the line. Having 

been a single, career professional all my life, it 

has been easy keeping busy while at home for 

short periods of time. Not so, the future. 

Will I soon be relegated to the sofa, catching 

up on old episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, listening 

to all the political goings-on, all by myself? It 

has been easy to not have any hobbies while 

dedicating myself to my job. 

Many of my friends are business associates. 

Some will still be working and others will be off 

into their own retirement with their spouses. I 

am at a loss for ideas to keep busy and want to 

proactively stave off the lonely days and nights I 

am half expecting. Any ideas, Ms. Mostly? 

What now? 

Dear WHAT NOW, 

Your future will be largely what you imagine it 

to be. Positive visualization does not include old 

episodes of Grey's Anatomy so cut that s**t out. 

many not-for-profits, community organizations, 

and boards need intelligent, experienced 

people with time to devote. You'll find you don't 

need a paycheque to derive satisfaction from 

work and, even better, you'll likely meet other 

people with similar life circumstances and will 

make new friends who will suit your retired 

lifestyle. 

Once you start to reach out to organizations 

that do things that inspire and motivate you, 

there will be fewer lonely days and nights, and, 

more likely, you'll find there is simply too much 

you can devote yourself to and you actually 

need a little break from being busy. 

That will be the only time I'll allow you to 

wallow on the couch with an old Grey's 

Anatomy-fest. 

It sounds as if your career kept you busy 

enough to avoid hobbies and outside activities 

so now is the time to take that well-used and 

rich brain of yours and put it to work building 

capacity in others and in your community. So

I'm 

anxious 

fabulousYOUniversity.com

5 WAYS 

YOU CAN 

IMPROVE 

SECURITY 

ON YOUR 

MOBILE 

DEVICES 

/ BY MICHELLE SEGOLY 

Cellphones, laptops, and other mobile 

devices are used for a plethora of functions 

and play an important role each day. 

Technology is often integrated into our 

daily lives, functioning as extensions of 

ourselves. All of these machines carry a 

wealth of sensitive and personal 

information which makes them ideal 

targets for cybercriminals. Leaks in data or 

stores of sensitive information can lead to 

identity theft, stolen credit cards, and 

ransom threats. 

Cybercrime is on the rise and 

it is more important than ever for you to 

take care to protect yourself and your 

information. 

The Importance of Cybersecurity 

Cybersecurity can be an intimidating word 

and often many people think that it 

involves expensive plans or fancy 

technology. In reality, cybersecurity is 

simpler than you may have imagined. All it 

really means is actions that you can take to 

protect your systems, mobile devices, or 

networks from any type of cyber attack. It 

can really be as simple as making small 

changes to your daily routine to keep your 

information more secure. 

Mobile Security 

For many of us, our cell phones contain all 

of our most important and sensitive 

information. From banking to staying in 

touch with others, many of our daily 

activities are conducted on our handheld 

devices. Due to the wealth of information 

that is often stored on our smartphones, 

this makes them valuable targets for 

cybercriminals. Since our smartphones 

contain such valuable information, it is 

extra important that we have proper safety 

practices in place. Here are some of our 

recommendations for safety tips that you 

can implement to keep you and your 

mobile devices safe. 

5 Tips for Better Mobile Device 

Security 

1. Be careful when using public Wi-Fi 

Connecting to public networks can be 

dangerous and can introduce new security 

r

AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE 

/23 

risks. Other individuals have access to the same 

network and hackers can access your 

information and monitor your website traffic. It 

is important to protect your data and find a way 

to encrypt your information. If you do choose to 

use a public network, opt to use a VPN which 

can help protect your website traffic. 

Alternatively, you can use a personal hotspot, 

either from your phone or another dedicated 

device. 

2. Limit location tracking 

It is always important to ask if the app is asking 

for more information than it actually needs to 

run its programs. If an app has GPS features and 

helps with directions or travel then it makes 

sense for it to access your location. However, 

many other apps also ask for your location 

without good reason, and they just run the 

location tracking in the background while you 

are using the application. Beware of these apps 

and turn off your location services when you 

can. 

3. Always update your software 

Always update your software as soon as new 

updates become available. Often, software 

updates help to fix important bug issues and 

security gaps. It is important to update your 

devices to prevent cybercriminals from 

exploiting pre-existing vulnerabilities. Subscribe 

to our email blasts to always hear about the 

biggest updates and keep yourself up to date! 

4. Uninstall Non-Essential Applications 

How many of the applications on your phone do 

you really use? Many people keep an 

unnecessary amount of applications on their 

mobile devices that they don't even use often. 

This will help to reduce your attack service, 

meaning that there will be fewer potential entry 

points for cybercriminals to infiltrate through. 

5. Turn off Wi-Fi and Bluetooth 

By turning these features off, you prevent your 

mobile devices from being accessible over the 

airwaves. When you are not using them it can 

be helpful to keep them off so that your device 

is less vulnerable to criminals looking for 

targets. 

More and more cybercriminals are targeting 

mobile data because of the wealth of sensitive 

information stored on them. Cyber Unit uses 

the latest in cyber security to bring the best 

enterprise-grade security for mobile phones. 

Learn more here and sign up today to try our 

mobile security. 

If you are interested in learning more about 

securing your business or need a second 

opinion on your specific security/IT needs, make 

sure to contact reputable security professionals 

. 

Learn More 

Why Your Cybersecurity Matters 

Contact Cyber Unit

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Find Freedom From What Does Not Serve You AT FORTY FIVE Magazine Issue 2101 06

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