Hey Nostradamus! By Douglas Coupland

"In the middle drawer."
"Let's go fetch it then, shall we?"
We approached the desk with the gracelessness of captor and captive. I allowed her just enough
mobility to open the drawer, and once it was open, I yanked back her arm and said, "Let me do a quick
inspection here for guns and knives." I mussed through the desk's contents and then I saw Jason's
handwriting on some sheets of crumpled pink invoice paper from his boss's contracting firm. On seeing it,
I squeaked and let go of Allison and picked it up and held it to my chest. She fell to the floor, was about
to rise, and then ended up just slumping against a bookcase. She said, "I suppose you're - "
"Oh, shut up." I looked at the paper and Jason's little-boy printing. His writing was small and efficient,
and he managed to cram a lot onto the pages. There were dozens of our characters and their best-known
exploits, along with staging instructions:
Froggles is the most important and beloved character. He speaks in a high voice, but if you tell him he
sounds shrill, he indignantly shrieks, "I'm not shrill!" He drives a Dodge Scamp he bought at a garage
sale. Primary enjoyments include winning spelling bees, twelve-packs of crunchy flies and Law & Order
reruns.
Bonnie T. Lamb is the crabbiest and most politically correct character. She wears an African beanie and
horn-rimmed glasses, has a bleating voice and can easily have her opinion swayed by her personal
kryp-tonite, Cloverines. Her other weaknesses include bad arts and crafts and working in B-movies as a
walk-on. Her life partner, Cherish, fixes motorcycles.
And so forth. I sat down in Glenn's captain's chair and inhaled Jason's letter like it was cherry blossoms.
Allison posed no threat. I'd just heard from the dead.
Allison said, "He's gone. You know it, right?"
"I know."
"I'm not trying to be a bitch here. But he's gone. Glenn went. He went and I was left behind. This big
stupid house and me and nothing else, and our savings lost in some idiotic tech stock."
I looked at her.
"The only reason I became a psychic was to try and reach Glenn. I thought that maybe if I pretended to
be one I could become one. The things I did to try to become one - diets, purges, fasts, seminars,
weekends. All of it just pointless."
"You tried to rip me off."
"I did. But you know what? To have seen your face whenever I gave you some words - it was all I'd
ever wanted for myself."
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