An Apres Morris Song Archive - The Morris Ring

Cockles and Muscles (based on Alan Sherman`s lyrics)
She wheels her wheelbarrow
Through streets broad and narrow
Her barrow is narrow her hips are too wide
So wherever she wheels it
The neighbourhood feels it.
Her girdle keeps scraping
The homes on each side.
In Dublin’s Fair City where the girls are so pretty
My Molly stands out `cause she weighs 18 stone
I don’t mind her fat butt she is not only that but
She’s cross eyed and muscle bound Molly Malone.
Combine Harvester (Wurzels)
I drove my tractor through your haystack last night
(ooh aah ooh aah)
I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet
(ooh aah ooh aah)
Now something's telling me
That you'm avoiding me
Come on now darling you've got something I need
Cuz I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
Come on now let's get together
In perfect harmony
I got twenty acres
An' you got forty-three
Now I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
She made I laugh ha ha
I'll stick by you, I'll give you all that you need
We'll 'ave twins and triplets
I'm a man built for speed
And you know I'll love you darlin'
So give me your hand
But what I want the most
Is all they acres of land
For seven long years I've been alone in this place
Eat, sleep, in the kitchen, it's a proper disgrace
Now if I cleaned it up would you change your mind
I'll give up drinking scrumpy and that lager and lime
Weren't we a grand couple at that last wurzel dance
I wore brand new gaters and me cordouroy pants
In your new Sunday dress with your perfume
smelling grand
We had our photos took and us holding hands
Now I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
Now that we'me both past our fifties
I think that you and me
Should stop this galavanting and will you marry me
Coz I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
Aahh yu're a fine looking woman and I can't wait to
get me 'ands on your land
Cosher Bailey (trad)
Cosher Bailey had an engine
It was always wanting mending,
And according to the power,
She could do four miles an hour
ch.:Did you ever see, did you ever see
Did you ever see such a funny thing before?
On the night run up from Gower
She did twenty mile an hour
As she whistled through the station
Man, she frightened half the nation.
Cosher bought her second-hand
And he painted her so grand
When the driver went to oil her
Man, she nearly burst her boiler.
Cosher Bailey's sister Lena
She was living up in Blaina
She could knit and darn our stockings
But her cooking it was shocking.
Cosher Bailey's brother Rupert
He played stand-off-half for Newport,
When they played against Llanelly
Someone kicked him in the belly.
Cosher Bailey had a daughter
Who did things she didn't oughter
She was quite beyond the pale
But over that we'll draw a veil.
Cosher Bailey went to Exford
For to pass matriculation
But he saw a pretty barmaid
And he never left the station.
Oh the sight it was heart-rending
Cosher drove his little engine
And he got stuck in the tunnel
And went up the bloomin' funnel.
Yes, Cosher Bailey he did die
And they put him in a coffin
But, alas, they heard a knocking
Cosher Bailey, only joking.
Well, the Devil wouldn't have him
But he gave him sticks and matches
For to set up on his own
On the top of Barford Hatches.
Well he had an Aunty Kitty
And she only had one titty
It was long and straight and pointed
And the nipple double jointed.
There was a man called Cotton
Had a spot upon his bottom
Applied some Vascederma
But the pimple stood out firmer.
I’ve got a cousin Daniel
And he’s got a cocker spaniel
If you tickled ‘im in the middle
He would lift his leg and piddle.
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