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An Apres Morris Song Archive - The Morris Ring

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<strong>The</strong> Folker (Noel Murphy)<br />

Oh, my name`s “Lead Fingers Murphy” and my story's seldom told<br />

<strong>An</strong>d I massacre folk music with a yard of German plywood and a capo<br />

I do requests--just the ones that have two chords in them and I disregard the rest Na na nya, na na na na.<br />

In the Sir Patrick Spens I clean forgot the 42nd verse,<br />

So I sang the 27th twice as loud and in reverse and no one noticed.<br />

I laughed for hours the tears ran down me trouser leg I thought I'd wet me drawers Na na nya, na na na na.<br />

Na na nya, Na na na na na na na Na na nya Na na na na na na na na na na na na nya<br />

Well, I stand on stage the hero a martyr to me trade<br />

<strong>An</strong>d carry the reminders of all the gigs I've played in like the Irish Club<br />

Where I fled in mortal fear—with the imprint of a Guinness bottle stamped across my ear Na na nya na na na na<br />

Seeking twenty with expenses I went looking for a gig<br />

But I got no offers--just a come on from a groupie up in Naldertown<br />

I do declare--I was feeling rather randy and I had her then and there Na na nya na na na na<br />

Na na nya, Na na na na na na na Na na nya Na na na na na na na na na na na na nya<br />

Well, I've sung the folk tradition with my finger in my ear<br />

Cause half the stuff I'm singin'—I just can't bear to hear—it's a load of cobblers<br />

Bar after bar--to the rhythm of an out of tune Japanese guitar. Na Na Nya na na na na<br />

Well, I met this great guitarist and I asked him for advice<br />

But the message that he gave me--wasn't very nice or even civil<br />

Stick it where--and if I did how could I tune it with it shoved way up there. Na na nya na na na na<br />

Now I've got my thing together, man, I'm really freaking out<br />

Reading “Melody Maker,” mainlining on draught stout and having hang ups<br />

<strong>An</strong>d like the rest, I'm having trouble with my sex life since I fell and broke my wrist<br />

<strong>An</strong>d my other songs are twice as bad as this.<br />

Folk <strong>Song</strong> (Myles Rudge & Ted Dicks, as sung by<br />

Bernard Cribbens)<br />

Oh, 'twas on a Monday mornin'-O,<br />

<strong>The</strong> rain it was a rainin',<br />

My love , she turned to me and said,<br />

"Oh, when will you and I be wed,<br />

I've been and bought a double bed,<br />

<strong>An</strong>d mother is complainin'",<br />

(spoken:- "I can't stand her mother")<br />

<strong>An</strong>d all the while the rain it was a rainin'.<br />

'Twas on the Tuesday mornin'-O,<br />

<strong>The</strong> snow it was a glistenin'<br />

My love still hadn't gone away,<br />

So I said "Mistress, tell me pray,<br />

What was it you said yesterday,<br />

I really wasn't listenin'",<br />

(Spoken:- "I laughed, she hit me, it hurt"),<br />

Amd all the while the snow etc.<br />

'Twas on the Wednesday mornin'-O,<br />

<strong>The</strong> hail it was a hailin',<br />

My love, she made a quick retort,<br />

She said "To cut the story short,<br />

I've bought a bed, the double sort,<br />

You hearin' must be failin'",<br />

(Spoken:- "I heard that all right, though"),<br />

<strong>An</strong>d all the while the hail etc.<br />

'Twas on the Thursday mornin'-O,<br />

<strong>The</strong> day was not a hot one,<br />

I said "I thought that's what you said,<br />

You've been and bought a double bed,<br />

You must be goin' off your head,<br />

For I've already got one",<br />

(Spoken:- "Got two now haven't I"),<br />

<strong>An</strong>d all the while the day etc.<br />

(Spoken:- "On Friday, nobody spoke").<br />

'Twas on the Saturday mornin'-O,<br />

<strong>The</strong> thunder it was frightening,<br />

I shouted loud, so I'd be heard,<br />

"Oh let's get married on the third",<br />

But she did answer not one word,<br />

For she'd been struck by lightnin',<br />

<strong>An</strong>d after that the weather started brightening.<br />

32

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