An Apres Morris Song Archive - The Morris Ring

Garden of Love (Benny Hill)
(Chorus) The sun and the rain fell from up above.
And landed on the earth below in my garden of love
Galaxy Song (cont.)
Just remember that you’re standing on a planet that’s evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour
That’s orbiting at ninety miles a second so it’s reckoned
A sun that is the source of all our power
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm at forty thousand miles an hour
Of the galaxy we call the Milky Way
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars
It’s one hundred thousand light years side to side
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick
But out by us it’s just three thousand light years wide
We’re thirty thousand light years from galactic central point
We go round every two hundred million years
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe
The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, the speed of light you know
Twelve million miles a minute and that’s the fastest speed there is
So remember when you’re feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere out in space
‘Cos there’s bugger all down here on earth
Now there’s a rose for the way my spirits rose when we met
A forget-me-not to remind me to remember not to forget
A pine tree for the way I pined over you
And an ash for the day I ashed you to be true
Now there’s a palm tree that we planted when we had our first date
A turnip for the way you always used to turnip late
Your mother and your cousin, Chris, they often used to come
So, in their honour, I have raised a nice chris-an’-the-mum
Now there’s a beetroot for the day you said that you’d beetroot to me
A sweet pea for the sweet way you always smiled at me
But you had friends who needed you
There was Ferdy, there was Liza
So, just for them, I put down a load of ferdy-liza
But Gus the gardener’s left now and you went with him, too
The fungus there reminds me of the fun Gus is having with you
Now the rockery’s a mockery, with weeds it’s overgrown
The fuchsia’s gone, I couldn’t face the fuchsia all alone
And my tears fell like raindrops from the sky above
and poisoned all the flowers in my garden of love
Galway Bay (tune Arthur Colahan)
If you ever go across the sea to Ireland,
Better wait until my wife has passed away!
I always remember the way she used to rag me.
She had a mouth as big as Galway Bay.
Now she drinks her fourteen pints of Guinness daily
And walks on down the street without a sway;
If the River Shannon was full of Irish whisky
She would swim and drink and drowns in Galway Bay.
Oh you oughta see her standing in the boozer
And when the barman says, "it's time you go."
Well, she doesn't speak in English or in Gaelic.
But in language that the clergy would not know.
On her back she has tattooed a map of Ireland.
And when she takes her bath each Christmas Day,
She rubs the Sunlight Soap around the islands.
And watch the suds go down to Galway Bay.
The Gas-Man Cometh (Michael Flanders)
Twas on the Monday morning the gas-man came to call.
The gas tap wouldn't turn, I wasn't getting gas at all
He tore out all the skirting boards to try and find the main.
And I had to call a carpenter to put them back again
Oh it all makes work for the working man to do
Twas on the Tuesday morning the carpenter came round.
He hammered & he chiselled and he said, Look what I've found
Your joists are full of dry rot but I'll put them all to rights.
Then he nailed right through a cable and out went all the lights
Oh it all makes work for the working man to do.
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