An Apres Morris Song Archive - The Morris Ring

Away Day (lyrics ad.Kipper family by ed/tune:Gaudete)
Ch. Away day, away day, cheap day returnas
Non omnibus St. Pancreas, away day.
Cleopatra virginae, terra incognito
In loco parentis Caesar; multi Kama Sutra
Troilus et Cresida, cum homo erectus
Strangulated hernia, coitus interruptus.
Cosa Nostradamus est in video nasti
In dramatis personae, my little poni.
Romulus et Remus in flagrente delecte
Honi soi qui mal y pense, Harry Belefonte
Gina Lolabrigida, osteo arthrytus
In vino veritas, Peter Dominicus.
Bovine Botulosis et insanus mad cowum
Fruitum salad loopio locked up sanatorium.
Crumpetus ad nausea shaggus in excessus
Chipalato droopio Pamela Bordelus.
Figaro in opera, minus a soprano
Allegro castrati, Dame Placido Domingo.
Non compus mentis, continuo ad nauseum
Ad lib etcetera, quad erat demonstrandum.
Ball Of Yarn (trad)
One sunny morn in May as I was on my way
To visit my Grandfather’s farm
I spies a pretty maid a resting in the shade
She was winding up her little ball of yarn
Oh the Blackbird and the Thrush
They sing out from every bush
Keep your hand on your little ball of yarn
A pretty girl was May as she lay there in the hay
The scene it was so quiet and so calm
I dropped down where she lay and unto her did say
Let me wind up your little ball of yarn
No! no! kind sir says she, you’re a stranger unto me
To other girls you may possess some charm
You’d better go away and come back another day
To wind up my little ball of yarn
I kissed that pretty maid just underneath the shade
Intending to do to her no harm
‘Cos the Blackbird and the Thrush, they sing out from
every bush
To remind her of her little ball of yarn
Ten weary months has passed ‘ere I saw that maid at last
And I met her with a baby on her arm
But she didn’t know ‘twas me ‘till I told her it was me
Who had wound up her little ball of yarn
Away With Rum (trad)
We're coming, we're coming, our brave little band
On the right side of temperance we do take our
stand
We don't use tobacco, because we do think
The people who use it are likely to drink
Ch. Away, away with rum by gum,
with rum by gum, with rum by gum
Away, away with rum by gum,
the song of the temperance union
We never eat fruit cake because it has rum
And one little taste turns a man to a bum
Oh, can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a man eating fruit cake until he gets tight
Oh we don't eat trifle 'cos trifle has sherry
and one bit of trifle will make a man merry;
oh can you imagine the day comes to pass
they start serving trifle in a seven ounce glass
We never eat cookies because they have yeast
And one little bite turns a man to a beast
Oh, can you imagine a sadder disgrace
Than a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face
If you wash your hair, never rinse it with beer
Because if you do, you'll get foam in your ear
And if there's one thing a young man must dread
It's dating a girl with a head on her head
We never eat peaches, because peaches ferment
And peaches ferment at the least little dent
Oh can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a man drunk on peaches he thought were
alright
We don't allow massage, stiff muscles to cure,
Those alcohol rubs turn a man to a boor,
Oh can you imagine the terrible fate,
Of a man being massaged 'til he can't stand up
straight!
We never chew toothpicks because we recall
That wood ferments into wood alcohol
Oh can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a man chewing toothpicks until he gets tight
Oh! We never send clothes to be dry cleaned or
pressed,
'Cos ether and alcohol are used in the quest.
There's nothing so sorry or sad I suppose,
Than a man getting drunk from the smell of his
clothes
We never drink water, they put it in gin
One little sip and a man starts to grin
Oh can you imagine the horrible sight
Of a man drinking water and singing all night
4