An Apres Morris Song Archive - The Morris Ring

Doggy Song (based on Dog`s Meeting lyrics by Tom Patrick)
tune: Aurela)
The doggies held a meeting,
They came from near and far,
Some came by motorcycle,
Some came by motorcar.
Each doggy passed the entrance,
Each doggy signed the book,
Then each unshipped his asshole*,
And hung it on the hook.
One dog was not invited,
It sorely raised his ire,
He ran into the meeting hall,
And loudly bellowed, “Fire!”
It threw them in confusion,
And without a second look,
Each grabbed another’s asshole,
From off another hook.
And that’s the reason why,sir,
When walking down the street,
And that’s the reason why,sir,
When doggies chance to meet,
And that’s the reason why ,sir,
On land or sea or foam,
He will sniff another’s asshole,
To see if it’s his own.
Don`t Jump Off the Roof Dad (Homer & Jethro)
Daddy came home from work tired
His boss had been driving him mad.
The kids were all shouting, the dog bit him too
His dinner was nothing but boiled over stew.
I guess it was then he decided
Up to the rooftop he'd go
He was about to jump off when
The kids started howling below
'Don't jump off the roof, Dad
You'll make a hole in the yard
Mother's just planted petunias
The weeding and seeding was hard
If you must end it all, Dad
Won't you please give us a break
Just take a walk down the park, Dad
And there you can jump in the lake.'
Dough, Ray Me (tune from The Sound of Music)
Dough buys beer it buys me beer,
Ray, the guy who serves me beer,
Me, the guy, who drinks my beer,
Fa, a long way to the john,
So, I'll have another beer,
La, I'll have another beer,
Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer,
And that brings us back to,
Dough . . . (etc)
Do Virgins Taste Better? (Randy Farran)
Dragon has come to our village today.
We've asked him to leave, but he won't go away.
Now he's talked to our king and they worked out a deal.
No homes will he burn and no crops will he steal.
Now there is but one catch, we dislike it a bunch.
Twice a year he invites him a virgin to lunch.
Well, we've no other choice, so the deal we'll respect.
But we can't help but wonder and pause to reflect.
Do virgins taste better than those who are not?
Are they salty, or sweeter, more juicy or what?
Do you savor them slowly?
Gulp them down on the spot?
Do virgins taste better than those who are not?
Now we'd like to be shed you, and many have tried.
But no one can get through your thick scaly hide.
We hope that some day, some brave knight will come by.
'Cause we can't wait around 'til you're too fat to fly.
Now you have such good taste in your women for sure,
They always are pretty, they always are pure.
But your notion of dining, it makes us all flinch,
For your favorite entree is barbecued wench.
Now we've found a solution, it works out so neat,
If you insist on nothing but virgins to eat.
No more will our number ever grow small,
We'll simply make sure there's no virgins at all!
Do Ye Ken John Peel? (trad)
Do ye ken John Peel with his coat so gay?
Do ye ken John Peel at the break of day?
Do ye ken John Peel when he's far, far away
With his hounds and his horn in the morning
Twas the sound of his horn brought me from my bed
And the cry of his hounds has me oftimes led
For Peel's view holloa would wake the dead
Or a fox from his lair in the morning
Do ye ken that hound whose voice is death?
Do ye ken her sons of peerless faith
Do ye ken that a fox with his last breath
Cursed them all as he died in the morning?
Yes, I ken John Peel and auld Ruby, too
Ranter and Royal and Bellman so true
From the drag to the chase, from the chase to the view
From the view to the death in the morning
And I've followed John Peel both often and far
O'er the rasper fence and the gate and the bar
From Low Denton Holme to the Scratchmere Scar
When we vied for the brush in the morning
Then here's to John Peel with my heart and soul
Come fill, fill to him a brimming bowl
For we'll follow John Peel thro fair or thro foul
While we're waked by his horn in the morning.
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