An Apres Morris Song Archive - The Morris Ring

The Bane of the County Down
(WJ Bethancourt, parody of Star of the County Down)
Near Banbridge town in the County Down
One morning last July
Down a boreen green came a keen Colleen
And she smiled as she passed me by.
She looked so sweet from her two left feet
And her neat little pretty crossed eyes
With a wart on her nose and a run in her hose
She was scaring the passers-by!
ch. From Bantry Bay down to Derry Quay
From Galway to Dublin town.
No maid I met could scare me yet
Like the girl from the County Down!
She`d one yellow eye and a look so sly
And a nose like the rose in bloom
And you winced at each note from her wattled throat
As she murdered an Irish tune.
At the pattern dance you were in a trance
As she fell to the floor in a jig
And out by the wall you couldn`t tell
This girl from the farmer`s pig
Such a scarey sow she`d abort a cow
And she curdled the milk in a jar.
And it was sure death for to smell her breath
For it melted the high road`s tar.
The flowers died and the babies cried
And the green grass all turned brown
The dogs all howled and the cats they yowled
At the girl from the County Down.
Bandy Bertha (Fred Douglas)
A poet loves the springtime and the bumblebee the hive
A worm just likes to turn around to see if he’s alive
But I’ve a girl that I like who will keep me all my life
I’ve asked if she’d marry me and if she’d be my wife.
Ch.
I met her WHO? Bandy Bertha WHEN?
In the merry month of May
I teased her WHEN? When I freezed her
In the duckpond Christmas Day
I hugged her WHY? Cos I loved her
And I know she’s mine alright
And I kissed her WHERE? On her birthday
In Ma’s cowshed last night.
When I first met ‘er down the lane I knew I were in clover
She looked just like a girt big stew her dumplings boiling over.
I said why don’t you cover them up you’ll surely catch your death
She said the way you’re chasing I I can’t even catch my breath.
Her neck is shapely as a swans’ I won’t say it’s as white.
Her teeth are like the twinkling stars, they all come out at night.
Her face is not good looking but it also isn’t plain.
It’s like a blotting pad that’s been out all night in the rain.
When the tourist season comes along the police they stand her out…
In the middle of the crossroads as a traffic roundabout
And in the springtime she’s busy out in the fields all day…
With a three prong fork stuck up behind to scare the birds away.BA
Banks of the Ohio (trad.)
I asked my love to take a walk,
To take a walk, just a little walk.
Down besides where the waters flow,
Down by the banks of the Ohio.
Ch. And only say that you’ll be mine
In no other hearts entwine
Down beside where the waters flow
Down by the banks of the Ohio.
I held a knife against his breast
As into my arms he pressed.
He cried “my love, don’t murder me.
I’m not prepared for eternity.”
I wandered home tween twelve and one I cried,
“My God what have I done?
I’ve killed the only man I love.
He would not take me for his bride.”
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