The Girl on the Boat - Penn State University

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sumed, but if you say so …. <strong>The</strong> problem confronting us, as I envisage it, resolves itself into this. You have offended our Miss B. and she has expressed a disinclination ever to see you again. How, then, is it possible, in spite of her attitude, to recapture her esteem?” “Exactly,” said Sam. “<strong>The</strong>re are several methods which occur to one ….” “<strong>The</strong>y don’t occur to me!” “Well, for example, you might rescue her from a burning building, as in ‘True As Steel’ ….” “Set fire to the house, eh?” said Sam reflectively. “Yes, there might be something in that.” “I would hardly advise such a thing,” said Webster, a little hastily—flattered at the readiness with which his disciple was taking his advice, yet acutely alive to the fact that he slept at the top of the house himself. “A little drastic, if I may say so. It might be better to save her from drowning, as in ‘<strong>The</strong> Earl’s Secret.’” “Ah, but where could she drown?” “Well, there is a lake in the grounds ….” “Excellent!” said Sam. “Terrific! I knew I could rely <strong>The</strong> <strong>Girl</strong> on the Boat 164 on you. Say no more! <strong>The</strong> whole thing’s settled. You take her out rowing on the lake, and upset the boat. I plunge in …. I suppose you can swim?” “No, sir.” “Oh? Well, never mind. You’ll manage somehow, I expect. Cling to the upturned boat or something, I shouldn’t wonder. <strong>The</strong>re’s always a way. Yes, that’s the plan. When is the earliest you could arrange this?” “I fear such a course must be considered out of the question, sir. It really wouldn’t do.” “I can’t see a flaw in it.” “Well, in the first place, it would certainly jeopardise my situation ….” “Oh, hang your situation! You talk as if you were Prime Minister or something. You can easily get another situation. A valuable man like you,” said Sam ingratiatingly. “No, sir,” said Webster firmly. “From boyhood up I’ve always had a regular horror of the water. I can’t so much as go paddling without an uneasy feeling.” <strong>The</strong> image of Webster paddling was arresting enough
to occupy Sam’s thoughts for a moment. It was an inspiring picture, and for an instant uplifted his spirits. <strong>The</strong>n they fell again. “Well, I don’t see what there is to be done,” he said, gloomily. “It’s no good my making suggestions, if you have some frivolous objection to all of them.” “My idea,” said Webster, “would be something which did not involve my own personal and active co-operation, sir. If it is all the same to you, I should prefer to limit my assistance to advice and sympathy. I am anxious to help, but I am a man of regular habits, which I do not wish to disturb. Did you ever read ‘Footpaths of Fate,’ in the Nosegay series, sir? I’ve only just remembered it, and it contains the most helpful suggestion of the lot. <strong>The</strong>re had been a misunderstanding between the heroine and the hero—their names have slipped my mind, though I fancy his was Cyril—and she had told him to hop it ….” “To what?” “To leave her for ever, sir. And what do you think he did?” P. G. Wodehouse 165 “How the deuce do I know?” “He kidnapped her little brother, sir, to whom she was devoted, kept him hidden for a bit, and then returned him, and in her gratitude all was forgotten and forgiven, and never ….” “I know. Never had the bells of the old village church ….” “Rung out a blither peal. Exactly, sir. Well, there, if you will allow me to say so, you are, sir! You need seek no further for a plan of action.” “Miss Bennett hasn’t got a little brother.” “No, sir. But she has a dog, and is greatly attached to it.” Sam stared. From the expression on his face it was evident that Webster imagined himself to have made a suggestion of exceptional intelligence. It struck Sam as the silliest he had ever heard. “You mean I ought to steal her dog?” “Precisely, sir.” “But, good heavens! Have you seen that dog?” “<strong>The</strong> one to which I allude is a small brown animal with a fluffy tail.”
Page 1 and 2:
THE GIRL ON THE BOAT BY P. G. WODEH
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THE GIRL ON THE BOAT BY P. G. WODEH
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THE GIRL ON THE BOAT CHAPTER I A Di
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Breakfast was on the table in the s
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“Oh, no! I play cricket a bit and
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he had had to leave for England him
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“No?” “I’m not a man who
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eggs and a rasher of ham get cut of
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ellers off. There
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He had said nothing. Not a sound, e
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“She was an extraordinarily prett
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“Did you explain about the trouse
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He wore a bowler hat, and from time
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He was still busy with this congeni
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his middle, and accompanied him bel
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“Where is she?” “Where’s wh
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ing pea-green, rolled over on his s
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said it was all right. So it’s al
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as utterly heartless. Marlowe regar
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“Green. There is
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“I see!” said Sam. He shot his
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“While you’re down there, just
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and the males in the audience will
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“I am the Bandolero!” sang Sam
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which he had had through the portho
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in the mental scale. This morning,
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“Oh, hello!” “Why, Bream!”
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the only girl in the world! I have
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“Then,” said B
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iage under conditions like that. Wh
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“I think you were hard on him. A
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“How do I look?” Eustace Hignet
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“Ah, well, it’s seven years ago
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oosting in all your life, I’m goi
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other, had come back and rendered p
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like a man who was seeing some ghas
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to the door and took the note from
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“That’s good.” “But you’r
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of blacking up! You talk as though
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“what have you to say for yoursel
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a couple of days since my engagemen
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was stopping, are in a class of bun
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of Sam he laid down both engines of
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“Very well, Sir Mallaby.” “Th
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“Oh, what’s the good of answeri
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gines. Probably you have been feeli
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Sam started at his parent’s splen
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would chill her to the bone, and ri
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start. Cool and distant. Out of the
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“Awfully sorry, father! Don’t k
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“We do not require a large place,
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you it isn’t in that woman to cha
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and claimed that England had seen f
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It was a superb morning. It was as
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comfort was acute. Insects, some wi
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“Hullo!” said Bream, with amiab
Page 113 and 114: 4 EVEN INTO THE BLACKEST days there
Page 115 and 116: Hignett had stirred his memory. “
Page 117 and 118: He brooded for half an hour, and, a
Page 119 and 120: knockout blow; his number was up; a
Page 121 and 122: “Good-night, sir.” “Stop a mo
Page 123 and 124: Mr. Bennett had no pistol, but he d
Page 125 and 126: Mr. Bennett drew himself up as haug
Page 127 and 128: nary ball with the mashie which he
Page 129 and 130: “Dropped my pen!” he gurgled ag
Page 131 and 132: comfortable. Yesterday afternoon fa
Page 133 and 134: “But he may be lurking out there
Page 135 and 136: instantly, for Jno. Peters was one
Page 137 and 138: Mortimer take a bowl of gold fish o
Page 139 and 140: consternation, he could not check a
Page 141 and 142: use. He had given this sensitive gi
Page 143 and 144: limitation caused him to remain spe
Page 145 and 146: Mr. Bennett scorched him with a loo
Page 147 and 148: “What do you mean, be very carefu
Page 149 and 150: dise which Nature had intended it t
Page 151 and 152: Grocery Stores in Windlehurst—app
Page 153 and 154: “Five!” ejaculated Mr. Bennett,
Page 155 and 156: me to America, because I thought I
Page 157 and 158: “Sitting on the gate, miss. Yes,
Page 159 and 160: foreground. How eagerly he would ju
Page 161 and 162: “Will you take this to Miss Benne
Page 163: heart, had bribed a tramp to simula
Page 167 and 168: “Quite easily, sir. I can admit y
Page 169 and 170: those abridged passenger-lists whic
Page 171 and 172: All the proprietor in Mrs. Hignett
Page 173 and 174: auders was to be dislodged she must
Page 175 and 176: gagements, and she could by no mean
Page 177 and 178: eveller creeping up to bed in the d
Page 179 and 180: “Lie back quite comfortably, and
Page 181 and 182: A charming smile spread itself over
Page 183 and 184: She sat in her chair and gulped; an
Page 185 and 186: cream in front of a fire. T
Page 187 and 188: “Get out!” whispered Sam tensel
Page 189 and 190: a violent activity descended upon h
Page 191 and 192: finished leaping into the air. She
Page 193 and 194: “I’m going,” said Billie reso
Page 195 and 196: “If you don’t come quick, I’l
Page 197 and 198: “Yes,” said Mr. Bennett, remind
Page 199 and 200: “Get out and crank her.” Bream
Page 201 and 202: der her arms, lifted her like a kit
Page 203 and 204: There was a long s
Page 205 and 206: ing the helmet on the floor of the
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