The Girl on the Boat - Penn State University

shaking hands with Eustace Hignett.
“My heart is broken,” he said with dignity.
“That feeling will pass, giving way to one of devout
thankfulness. I know. I’ve been there. After all …
Wilhelmina Bennett … what is she? A rag and a bone
and a hank of hair!”
“She is nothing of the kind,” said Sam, revolted.
“Pardon me,” said Eustace firmly, “I speak as an expert.
I know her and I repeat, she is a rag and a bone
and a hank of hair!”
“She is the only girl in the world, and, owing to your
idiotic behaviour, I have lost her.”
“You speak of the only girl in the world,” said Eustace
blithely. “If you want to hear about the only girl in the
world, I will tell you. A week ago I was on the Subway
in New York ….”
“I’m going to bed,” said Sam brusquely.
“All right. I’ll tell you while you’re undressing.”
“I don’t want to listen.”
“A week ago,” said Eustace Hignett, “I will ask you
to picture me seated after some difficulty in a carriage
<strong>The</strong> <strong>Girl</strong> on the Boat
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in the New York Subway. I got into conversation with
a girl with an elephant gun.”
Sam revised his private commination service in order
to include the elephant gun.
“She was my soul-mate,” proceeded Eustace with
quiet determination. “I didn’t know it at the time, but
she was. She had grave brown eyes, a wonderful personality,
and this elephant gun.”
“Did she shoot you with it?”
“Shoot me? What do you mean? Why, no!”
“<strong>The</strong> girl must have been a fool!” said Sam bitterly.
“<strong>The</strong> chance of a lifetime and she missed it. Where are
my pyjamas?”
“I haven’t seen your pyjamas. She talked to me about
this elephant gun, and explained its mechanism. She
told me the correct part of a hippopotamus to aim at,
how to make a nourishing soup out of mangoes, and
what to do when bitten by a Borneo wire-snake. You
can imagine how she soothed my aching heart. My
heart, if you recollect, was aching at the moment—quite
unnecessarily if I had only known—because it was only