The Girl on the Boat - Penn State University

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“I don’t care.” “You will!” said Sam confidently. “How about North Wales? I’ve heard people speak well of North Wales. Shall we head for North Wales?” “I’m engaged to Bream Mortimer.” “Oh no, that’s all off,” Sam assured her. “It’s not!” “Right off!” said Sam firmly. “You could never bring yourself to marry a man who dashed away like that and deserted you in your hour of need. Why, for all he knew, I might have tried to murder you. And he ran away! No, no, we eliminate Bream Mortimer once and for all. He won’t do!” This was so exactly what Billie was feeling herself that she could not bring herself to dispute it. “Anyway, I hate you!” she said, giving the conversation another turn. “Why? In the name of goodness, why?” “How dared you make a fool of me in your father’s office that morning?” “It was a sudden inspiration. I had to do something <strong>The</strong> <strong>Girl</strong> on the Boat 202 to make you think well of me, and I thought it might meet the case if I saved you from a lunatic with a pistol. It wasn’t my fault that you found out.” “I shall never forgive you!” “Why not Cornwall?” said Sam. “<strong>The</strong> Riviera of England! Let’s go to Cornwall. I beg your pardon. What were you saying?” “I said I should never forgive you and I won’t.” “Well, I hope you’re fond of motoring,” said Sam, “because we’re going on till you do.” “Very well! Go on, then!” “I intend to. Of course, it’s all right now while it’s dark. But have you considered what is going to happen when the sun gets up? We shall have a sort of triumphal procession. How the small boys will laugh when they see a man in a helmet go by in a car! I shan’t notice them myself because it’s a little difficult to notice anything from inside this thing, but I’m afraid it will be rather unpleasant for you …. I know what we’ll do. We’ll go to London and drive up and down Piccadilly! That will be fun!”
<strong>The</strong>re was a long silence. “Is my helmet on straight?” said Sam. Billie made no reply. She was looking before her down the hedge-bordered road. Always a girl of sudden impulses, she had just made a curious discovery, to wit that she was enjoying herself. <strong>The</strong>re was something so novel and exhilarating about this midnight ride that imperceptibly her dismay and resentment had ebbed away. She found herself struggling with a desire to laugh. “Lochinvar!” said Sam suddenly. “That’s the name of the chap I’ve been trying to think of! Did you ever read about Lochinvar? ‘Young Lochinvar’ the poet calls him rather familiarly. He did just what I’m doing now, and everybody thought very highly of him. I suppose in those days a helmet was just an ordinary part of what the well-dressed man should wear. Odd how fashions change!” Till now dignity and wrath combined had kept Billie from making any inquiries into a matter which had excited in her a quite painful curiosity. In her new mood she resisted the impulse no longer. P. G. Wodehouse 203 “Why are you wearing that thing?” “I told you. Purely and simply because I can’t get it off. You don’t suppose I’m trying to set a new style in gents’ head-wear, do you?” “But why did you ever put it on?” “Well, it was this way. After I came out of the cupboard in the drawing-room ….” “What!” “Didn’t I tell you about that? Oh yes, I was sitting in the cupboard in the drawing-room from dinner-time onwards. After that I came out and started cannoning about among Aunt Adeline’s china, so I thought I’d better switch the light on. Unfortunately I switched on some sort of musical instrument instead. And then somebody started shooting. So, what with one thing and another, I thought it would be best to hide somewhere. I hid in one of the suits of armour in the hall.” “Were you inside there all the time we were …?” “Yes. I say, that was funny about Bream, wasn’t it? Getting under the bed, I mean.” “Don’t let’s talk about Bream.”
Page 1 and 2:
THE GIRL ON THE BOAT BY P. G. WODEH
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THE GIRL ON THE BOAT BY P. G. WODEH
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THE GIRL ON THE BOAT CHAPTER I A Di
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Breakfast was on the table in the s
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“Oh, no! I play cricket a bit and
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he had had to leave for England him
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“No?” “I’m not a man who
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eggs and a rasher of ham get cut of
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ellers off. There
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He had said nothing. Not a sound, e
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“She was an extraordinarily prett
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“Did you explain about the trouse
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He wore a bowler hat, and from time
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He was still busy with this congeni
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his middle, and accompanied him bel
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“Where is she?” “Where’s wh
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ing pea-green, rolled over on his s
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said it was all right. So it’s al
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as utterly heartless. Marlowe regar
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“Green. There is
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“I see!” said Sam. He shot his
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“While you’re down there, just
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and the males in the audience will
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“I am the Bandolero!” sang Sam
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which he had had through the portho
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in the mental scale. This morning,
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“Oh, hello!” “Why, Bream!”
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the only girl in the world! I have
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“Then,” said B
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iage under conditions like that. Wh
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“I think you were hard on him. A
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“How do I look?” Eustace Hignet
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“Ah, well, it’s seven years ago
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oosting in all your life, I’m goi
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other, had come back and rendered p
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like a man who was seeing some ghas
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to the door and took the note from
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“That’s good.” “But you’r
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of blacking up! You talk as though
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“what have you to say for yoursel
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a couple of days since my engagemen
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was stopping, are in a class of bun
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of Sam he laid down both engines of
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“Very well, Sir Mallaby.” “Th
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“Oh, what’s the good of answeri
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gines. Probably you have been feeli
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Sam started at his parent’s splen
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would chill her to the bone, and ri
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start. Cool and distant. Out of the
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“Awfully sorry, father! Don’t k
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“We do not require a large place,
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you it isn’t in that woman to cha
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and claimed that England had seen f
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It was a superb morning. It was as
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comfort was acute. Insects, some wi
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“Hullo!” said Bream, with amiab
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4 EVEN INTO THE BLACKEST days there
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Hignett had stirred his memory. “
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He brooded for half an hour, and, a
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knockout blow; his number was up; a
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“Good-night, sir.” “Stop a mo
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Mr. Bennett had no pistol, but he d
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Mr. Bennett drew himself up as haug
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nary ball with the mashie which he
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“Dropped my pen!” he gurgled ag
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comfortable. Yesterday afternoon fa
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“But he may be lurking out there
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instantly, for Jno. Peters was one
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Mortimer take a bowl of gold fish o
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consternation, he could not check a
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use. He had given this sensitive gi
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limitation caused him to remain spe
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Mr. Bennett scorched him with a loo
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“What do you mean, be very carefu
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dise which Nature had intended it t
Page 151 and 152: Grocery Stores in Windlehurst—app
Page 153 and 154: “Five!” ejaculated Mr. Bennett,
Page 155 and 156: me to America, because I thought I
Page 157 and 158: “Sitting on the gate, miss. Yes,
Page 159 and 160: foreground. How eagerly he would ju
Page 161 and 162: “Will you take this to Miss Benne
Page 163 and 164: heart, had bribed a tramp to simula
Page 165 and 166: to occupy Sam’s thoughts for a mo
Page 167 and 168: “Quite easily, sir. I can admit y
Page 169 and 170: those abridged passenger-lists whic
Page 171 and 172: All the proprietor in Mrs. Hignett
Page 173 and 174: auders was to be dislodged she must
Page 175 and 176: gagements, and she could by no mean
Page 177 and 178: eveller creeping up to bed in the d
Page 179 and 180: “Lie back quite comfortably, and
Page 181 and 182: A charming smile spread itself over
Page 183 and 184: She sat in her chair and gulped; an
Page 185 and 186: cream in front of a fire. T
Page 187 and 188: “Get out!” whispered Sam tensel
Page 189 and 190: a violent activity descended upon h
Page 191 and 192: finished leaping into the air. She
Page 193 and 194: “I’m going,” said Billie reso
Page 195 and 196: “If you don’t come quick, I’l
Page 197 and 198: “Yes,” said Mr. Bennett, remind
Page 199 and 200: “Get out and crank her.” Bream
Page 201: der her arms, lifted her like a kit
Page 205 and 206: ing the helmet on the floor of the
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